“Relax? Relax! How can you relax at a time like this? I’m going to be a grandma aunt. Oh, my god. I’m old. I’m going to get wrinkles and my ass is going to sag. My tits! My perfect tits are going to hang to my belly! Oh, god!”
She grabbed two handfuls of her giant wig and left the room, just to come right back. I dressed as fast as I could and then ushered her to the front door. “Maybe I should drive.”
I opened the front door and Aunt Jolene was suddenly composed and looked perfect in her bright red, pearl snap shirtand denim bell bottoms. She fluffed her hair and dabbed at her lips. “I can drive. You don’t make it through years of battling drag queens at competitions without learning how to swallow your emotion. Some of those queens will eat you alive if they see a tear.”
I followed her and shook my head. “That’s crazy.”
She shot a dark look at me. “What’s crazy is letting a virile young man come inside you without any type of protection. He looks like he could wink and knock up an entire bus of purity girls.”
A neighbor happened to be walking their dog past us and looked horrified. I frowned at them, not okay with a stranger judging me the way Aunt Jolene was.
She saw the neighbor and scoffed. “Oh, like you’ve got any room to judge, Tonya! You and your bald husband tried to upside down pineapple my ass when I moved in here. Like you’ve never taken a load or two!”
Poor Tonya. Poor me. I walked around the car and pushed Aunt Jolene into it. “Come on. Let’s get that pill before you murder someone.”
43
***Cass***
The third game of the season was just as exciting as the first. Hayes had given me a jersey with his name on it and Coach James had put me in the family section of the stands so I didn’t follow the guys to the locker room and distract them. That meant I was just another observer watching Texas kick ass. It was thrilling. I’d always been on the sidelines for USC but it felt different at Texas. I felt the energy in the stadium down deep in my bones. I felt like I was home.
The only shitty part about sitting in the stands is that Sam Ford had decided to look like just another dad in the stands and he was sitting right behind me. I didn’t know a lot about the man but I knew his sons called him Sam and didn’t think much of him. I had to agree with their assessment when I saw him sit down behind me with a woman who had to be my age or maybe even younger.
I ignored them to watch the game and I was able to do it through the first half. It was exhilarating to watch the guys onthe field. Cash was a strong quarterback with an arm that acted like a heat seeking missile launcher. Hayes and Weston both dominated on the defense, each of them so impressive that I found myself cheering like a nut for them. I was orgasm drunk and everything felt good. It felt like everything fake maybe wasn’t so fake after all.
During halftime, with nothing to distract me, I couldn’t help overhearing Sam Ford and his date. Instantly I wanted to turn around and stab the man with a pen through the eye.
“They look like shit out there. I never played like that. I got fucking injuries and I didn’t take a goddamn season to recover. Who knows if they’ll be drafted in the first round now. A fucking Ford not being drafted in the first round is an embarrassment.”
I saw red and had to dig my fingers into my thighs to keep from jumping up and clocking the old fool.
“What’s draft? What’d you say?” The woman with him somehow sounded more like she was from LA than I did. “Oh, my gosh, Sammy, look at his adorable purse!”
“Jesus fuck. Can you fucking put your phone down for two minutes to let your brain function properly?”
“Sammy, daddy, be nice. I’ll do that thing you like later. And if you buy me the purse, I’ll let you do that other thing you like.”
I sat forward and considered plugging my ears. There were people all around us but I was the only one sitting alone and not preoccupied. I still couldn’t believe the way Sam was talking about his sons and to his girlfriend in public. He was a disgrace.
“Hey, you.” A rough tap on my shoulder came from behind. “What’s your name?”
I slowly turned and forced my face to look less murderous. “Sorry?”
Sam snapped his fingers and laughed. “You’re the broad my boys got caught banging. Carrie, or something. Why are you in the family section wearing my boys’ jersey?”
It was strange to see a man with almost the same face as his sons look so hideous in comparison. I took a deep breath. “Cass. I’m the woman your sons are dating.”
The girl next to him was decked out in Longhorns gear but none of it was quite big enough to cover her impressive curves. She snapped her fingers and leaned forward. “That’s right. I told you about that, daddy. I showed you the pictures and you asked why they were dating a six.”
I couldn’t conceal a shudder of disgust. I wasn’t against fun bedroom play. Not that I’d ever done it, but I was open. Calling a man daddy in the bedroom felt so different than calling him daddy in public, in front of people, though. Also, a six? Jeez. I’d been watching the women around me and they did insults differently in the south. They were so damn sweet about it that it took a bit to understand you were being insulted at first.
I sweetened my expression and snapped like she had. “Oh, wow! You’re their little sister? That’s so cool. I was hoping to get a chance to meet you! You’re adorable. And so young! I thought the guys said you were in college but you can’t be a day over eighteen!”
Sam’s face went dark red as his eyes bulged. “She’s not my fucking daughter.”
I pretended to suddenly understand what I was seeing. I covered my mouth and widened my eyes. “Oh! Oh… I’m so sorry. That’s so embarrassing. Just ignore me. Wow… That’s… Just wow.”
I turned back around in my seat and crossed my arms. Checkmate, motherfucker. If the pair had anything else to say they had to keep it to themselves because I had to run to the bathroom. By the time I got back the second half was starting and I could easily ignore Sam again. For a while at least.
