Cheering from across the party drew my attention and I saw Cash shotgunning a beer with Hayes while Weston cheered them on with a big crowd of guys and girls. They really were stars. They looked so happy in the thick of things. They were where they were meant to be, being fawned over after a season of shit. Even if they did feel obligated to check in on me, I didn’t want them to. I wasn’t going to sit around and wish for people to be different just to suit my needs anymore.
I stood up and walked away from the crowd and the lights. I’d never been in the middle of a field before so I wanted to explore. Were there hay bales? If I went far enough, would I see animals? I was a city girl through and through so I leaned into my excitement to explore and away from all the melancholy ick I was drowning myself in.
It didn’t occur to me to look up at first but when I did I stopped dead in my tracks and gasped. The stars. There were so many and they were bright like I’d never seen before. It was magical. The farther I got from the party the better it was. Millions of stars, all shining so bright that they didn’t feel so far away.
I was so lost in looking at the sky that I didn’t hear anyone coming close so when I was grabbed from behind I screamed likeI was being murdered. Or at least I tried to. A big hand covered my mouth almost right away and then I heard Weston laugh from a few feet away.
“Jesus, Cash. You trying to give her a heart attack?” Suddenly he was in front of me, his face shadowed from how dark it was. “What are you doing out here in the dark?”
Cash brushed his lips over my ear as he pulled away. “Yeah, you can’t hide from us, even out here. Hayes has the nose of a hunting dog and could find you anywhere.”
I snorted. “That’s not weird at all.”
Hayes grunted. “It’s not hard to follow the scent of delicious strawberries.”
“Ignoring that.” I tipped my head back to look at the stars again. “I’ve never seen so many stars. And never this bright. It’s amazing.”
“And that’s why you ditched us?” Weston sat on the ground and tugged me down next to him. “The best way to enjoy the stars is like this. Lay down.”
I let him tug me down beside him and rested my head on his arm. “I didn’t ditch you. You guys were having a blast and I didn’t want you to feel like you needed to take care of me. You really should go back and celebrate with your friends.”
Cash sat down on my other side and stretched out. “Those aren’t our friends. I mean, a few of them are, but most of those people aren’t friends. They’re just there.”
Hayes sat down in front of me and laid back on top of me. I had to stretch my legs open to make room for his big frame. He laughed when I grunted and rested his arms on my thighs like I was his personal husband pillow. “I don’t know where you expected me to go. I wasn’t going to cuddle up to West or Cash.”
“Is that what we’re doing? Cuddling?” I gasped when a shooting star flew overhead. “Oh, my god. Did you see that? A shooting star!”
Cash took my hand and held it on his chest. “Did you know that a shooting star is a sign of good luck for those laying in the middle of fields?”
I squeezed his hand and took a deep breath, breathing in the scent of the night. It was a mix of them, earth, and campfire smoke that I wanted to capture and keep forever. “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful. This is everything I never knew I needed.”
They were quiet for a while, just enjoying the faint sound of the music from the party. Weston finally cleared his throat and turned his head to face me. “Did they leave you alone at parties?”
31
***Cass***
Ididn’t need to ask who Weston was talking about. Maybe I wouldn’t have typically answered or been so open but I felt free in the middle of that field with dirt under me. I considered how to answer him for a few moments and then just sighed and spilled it without worrying about how I, or Cole, would be perceived.
“Yeah. I was just a friend and they wanted to get laid. A girl hanging on your arm isn’t exactly the best way to get women. Even when I was with Cole a million years ago it was the same. They were the stars and I was just in the way.” I could feel them getting angry and let out a forced laugh. “It’s not just them. People love football stars. It was the same with you guys tonight. The crowd wants to have a moment with their heroes. But…”
“What?” Cash’s thumb caressed my hand. “But what?”
“But you guys came after me.” I swallowed a lump of emotion. “That’s never happened before. And if three guys who don’t even like me come after me but my best friends never did… Fuck.”
“They’re assholes.” Hayes rubbed his head across my stomach. “And we do like you.”
“Not really, though.” I smiled up at the stars to keep from crying. “I should be used to it, though. I’ve spent most of my life following around three guys who maybe never cared about me. They sure as hell didn’t like me in the end.”
“What’s the deal with you and those dicks? The real story.” Cash rolled to his side to face me and in the starlight I watched him smirk. “Unless everything everyone has ever said on the internet is true and you’re nuts.”
I heard him grunt and felt the movement of Hayes’ arm as he hit his brother. It made me smile and reach down with my free hand to play with his hair. “I grew up with them. I only had my dad at home so I never had the chance to be girly. They were my best friends, my only friends. Then Cole and I dated. He was already my best friend so I just…let it happen. Why wouldn’t I fall for him? But my dad… He got sick. And I needed Cole more than ever. There was no one else and I thought we connected even more because his mom was sick, too.
“Then Dad died and Cole pulled away. A week after the burial he broke up with me. Said he could see being with me forever but he needed to live his life first. I thought that meant he was coming back. I held onto that stupid hope for years. I thought I was doing the right thing when I went after Savannah. I was trying to protect my best friends. But turns out they didn’t want me or my protection.” I took a deep breath and forced my body to relax. “Now you know the real, pathetic story. I wasn’t a fucking stalker who couldn’t let a guy she dated go. I was in love and I thought he was coming back. Hesaidhe was coming back. Now I think he just said that so dumping me right after Dad died wouldn’t make me hate him.”
Weston’s voice was low as he looked over at me. “And now? Do you still love him?”
I was quiet as I thought about it. It was the question I’d avoided asking myself for months because I was terrified, I wouldn’t be able to get rid of it, wouldn’t be able to get rid of Cole. Someone shouted at the party and a truck horn blared farther out. It was a strange thing to do, to consider your feelings for a guy while lying with three other guys.
