He wrapped his arms around my stomach and rested his chin on my shoulder. “Are you going to be able to do this?”
I shook my head hard. There was no way. It was too much, too awful, too painful. I wouldn’t survive. How long would I need to pretend like their forced attention wasn’t eating away at me? For the semester? The year? I couldn’t do it. “N-no.”
Hayes sat beside us and gripped my chin so I had to look at him. “You can and you will. We’ll stop with the asshole shit. Like it or not, we need you, Cassidy.”
I stared out at the park beyond and gripped Cash’s hands to pull them free but he interlaced our fingers instead. That simple gesture shouldn’t have made my stomach flutter like it did. How starving was I for affection?
“Look at me.” Cash waited for me to look at him over my shoulder. “We’ll cut the shit. We were coming to battle the person we thought you were but it’s kind of clear that you’re not exactly the giant, tough monster everyone painted you as.”
Even that somehow felt like a failure on my part. “Sorry?”
“Let’s just play nice and see how it goes.” He looked past me at Weston and raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?”
When he didn’t respond right away I looked over at him and regretted it. He looked like he was considering how to get away with murdering me to make it easier on himself. “Sure. Why the fuck not? Seems like a great plan.”
Cash sighed and tightened his hands around mine. “Smile pretty, Cassidy. This seems to be our life now.”
17
***Weston***
Iparked and turned the truck off but didn’t get out. Hayes was already out of the truck and walking towards Denius, the practice facility people called The Bubble because of the inflated roof. Cash stopped halfway out and frowned at me. I hated that frown. From either of my brothers it meant they were fucking worried. About me.
“Are you coming? As much as I’d enjoy taking your room, I don’t think you want to go out by suffocating in a boiling truck.”
“We’re doing this? We’re going to walk in there and pretend like everything’s normal?” I let out a bitter laugh. “No. Not even normal. We’re going to go in there and pretend like we’re in love with Cassidy? After everything that’s been said about her? Everyone thinks she’s a fucking traitor from USC and we’re going to act like that isn’t a big deal?”
He pulled his baseball hat down lower and smirked. “Since when did you care so much about what everyone thinks, bro? Getting soft?”
“Cash. I’m fucking serious. We’re betting our careers on this shit.” Nothing had ever felt less stable.
He looked away and cleared his throat. “Yeah. Just come on, West. This isn’t ideal but fuck it. We’ll do this and maybe Cassidy will be down to fuck so it isn’t so miserable.”
He flipped me off and slammed my door as his way of ending the conversation. I watched him jog inside and groaned. His whole ‘fuck it’ plan seemed like a horrible idea but I didn’t exactly have a better one.
I was in a shit mood and slightly hungover from drinking myself to sleep after that godawful picnic with Cassidy. The last thing I wanted to do was put on a good face. I didn’t know if I even had a good face anymore. It didn’t feel like it most days.
A couple of guys from the team were outside the locker room, standing around one of the rooms the physical therapists used. They hadn’t seen me so I got to watch them as I came closer.
“What kind of massages do you think she gives?” Jimmy Kagal elbowed Stewart Poe in the side. “Girl like that? She’s definitely been giving special massages since she was little. Just fucking screams daddy issues, you know?”
My stomach clenched and soured. I didn’t want to know who they were talking about but I had an idea. It wasn’t like we didn’t all talk stupid shit. We did. But hearing it and knowing it was probably about Cassidy made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.
Stewart laughed obnoxiously loud. “Knowing she was used up by the USC football team takes some of the iron out of my dick. I mean I could probably still make it work if I closed my eyes and pretended she was your mom.”
Thinking they were getting away from making fun of Cassidy I leaned against the wall where I was, several feet behind them, and tried to breathe through the desire to vomit. I rubbed my temples and wished that I was back home in bed.
Andy Vick joined Stewart and Jimmy, along with Johnny and Derick Groves. Johnny and Derick were cousins and played on defense with me and Hayes. Andy was a prick so it was no surprise when he realized what the commotion was about and joined in.
“I can’t believe they’re letting that slut anywhere near us. She’s some kind of reject from The Apex Three. She’s just trying to get back in with them. Who knows what the fuck she’s got planned.”
“She seemed nice to me.” Johnny shrugged and made eye contact with me. “Girl can play ball, too. She’s got an arm on her.”
“Bet it’s from guzzling D1 sperm. We’ve got that-”
Hayes grabbed the back of Andy’s jersey and shook him. “What the fuck did you say?”
Cash shot me a dirty look before yanking Andy away from Hayes and shoving him down the hall. “She’s with us. You have something to say? Say it to us, motherfucker. But we both know you don’t have the dick for that.”
