The folder from Kate got rolled up so I could grip it while I ran but the stuff inside wasn’t so easily balled up and forgotten. The dating, the sweet looks and soft touches, it was all going to be awful. And there wasn’t a single thing I could do about it.
14
***Cass***
Itook my time getting home and when I did let myself into Aunt Jolene’s house I instantly wished I’d stayed far, far away. I screamed at the sight of the naked man on top of Aunt Jolene, his sideburns bigger and darker than any I’d ever seen. I slapped my hands over my eyes and spun around. “I’ll go! Sorry!”
Before I could get out the door with my eyes still covered Aunt Jolene was off the couch and coming closer to me. “Don’t you dare run off. Elvis can wait. I’ve already come four times anyway. I’m good for now. Tell me everything. What was the meeting about?”
I gaped. She was so casual about being caught doing the deed. “No, really. I’ll go. You guys can…finish up…”
“Darlin’, I’ve been waiting on a woman like your Aunt Jolene for a long time. I ain’t worried about waiting a little while longer.” Elvis. Intense sideburns. The accent.
I spun around and gaped even harder. Behind Aunt Jolene was a man pulling on his white bell bottoms with rhinestonedetailing. His hair was dyed black and styled within an inch of its life but it…worked. Maybe? He was older but his muscles were well-defined and if he was making women come four times before he did, he couldn’t be that bad. Probably. What the hell did I know?
Aunt Jolene looked back at the Elvis impersonator and then winked at me. “Pretty hot, huh?”
I slowly shrugged. My mind was struggling to keep up with everything I was seeing. And hearing. Elvis was playing in the background and our Elvis was singing along as he came up behind Aunt Jolene and wrapped his arms around her waist. I promised myself that if his hand went inside her hot pink, sheer robe, I was leaving, no matter what they said.
“This is Elvis. Elvis, this is the niece I was telling you about, Cass. She got called into an important meeting today and I’m dying to know what was said.”
“Don’t look good, darlin’. You been crying?” Elvis was an observant man, it seemed.
Aunt Jolene gasped and rushed forward, yanking me into a hug. “What did they do to you? Tell me everything and I’ll murder the bastards.”
I laughed at that and it made it easier to tell them everything. Why I was telling Elvis everything, I had no clue, but he was a good listener and he made angry sounds at all the right times so it wasn’t so bad. When I got to the part about finding out I was kicked off the cheer team, his lip curled in a perfect Elvis impersonation and it lightened the mood for me. As much as it could be lightened.
“So, yeah. I get to fake date the Ford brothers, who openly hate me and are doing their best to make me cry. I don’t get to cheer anymore, which eliminates the only place I was making friends. Oh, and a PR person told me that I was basically forever labeled a whore and a bully.” I sniffed because it hurt, no matterhow much Elvis made me smile. It wasn’t that I loved cheer or needed to be loved by the nation. It was just…I didn’t want to be ostracized or hated by everyone. I just wanted to be normal. I’d never meant to end up in such a place. I’d just wanted Cole to love me back.
“Okay. Here’s what I have to say about this.” Elvis was very involved for a man I’d only just met. “You drive us over to their cesspool of a house and your Aunt Jolene and I will knock ‘em around. Then we go find those PR people and do it all over again. I’ve got this guitar prop that will not break no matter how many times I go off the rails with it. It’ll definitely crack heads. And then while we’re handling all of the physical stuff, you do an interview on camera so there’s proof you weren’t involved. And you expose everyone.”
Aunt Jolene nodded. “I think it sounds like a great plan. I have these heels that are so hard to walk in but they weremadefor stomping on balls. And I have a friend, Gena Tales, who’s amazing at making people look like sweet little dolls. We can dress you up, Gena can do your makeup to make you look super innocent, and then you go snitch on everyone while we bust heads.”
“Who are you two? I didn’t realize impersonators would be so blood thirsty.”
They exchanged a look and then both cackled. Aunt Jolene finally composed herself and patted my hand. “Dear sweet, naive girl. There’s hardly a business more deranged than the world of impersonators. I once had a drag queen rip my wig off mid-set. Of course, it was only after I dyed all her wigs boring brown. No offense.”
I reached up to touch my hair. “Ouch.”
“Your color brown isn’t boring, honey. It’s got natural highlights and lowlights and you’re beautiful just the way you are. But in the Dolly business? Brown is a career ender.”
Elvis nodded. “I was at a competition in Miami where there was a murder.”
I gasped. “No! That’s awful.”
“One Elvis said another Elvis’s leg shake was a wobbly excuse of a shake and wouldn’t get a river wet. Honestly, I’d seen the same shaky little wobble and thought the same thing but I’m damn glad I didn’t mention it because that man pulled a comb out of his pocket and went after the mouthy Elvis. It had a pointy end on it. It wasn’t pretty. All that blood around all of our white jumpsuits? We ran from the blood more than we would’ve run from the deranged guy with the stabby comb.”
“You saw someone kill another man?!” I leaned forward, hand over my chest, and felt my eyes go wider than I’d ever felt them. “That’s terrible!”
“Well, maybe he didn’t die, but he had wounds that were going to scar. For sure.” He winked at me the same way Aunt Jolene had and when I burst into laughter he nudged her. “I did that.”
“The point is, babycakes, no one gets away with hurting you. I will maim for you. I will wear my whitest whites and dye them red with your victim’s blood if I need to.” She grabbed my hand and squeezed. “So? Where are we with the plan to get you dolled up and on TV?”
A wave of emotion hit me. I’d never known what it was like to have a female relative in my corner the way she was. Mom was amazing but she’d passed before I needed someone willing to fist fight for me. Aunt Jolene wasn’t kidding. She’d murder someone for me and boast about it. That kind of crazy inspired cozy feelings for me.
“We’ll hold off on killing people for now.” I blinked away tears and smiled at her. “But knowing you’re willing to go there makes me feel a lot better.”
“I’m here, too. You can count on Elvis.”
