"You're not supposed to say that. You're supposed to be the confident one."
"I'm confident about a lot of things." He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "But not about this. Not about you. You terrify me, Jade. The way I feel about you terrifies me."
I kiss him.
It's different than before. Softer. Slower. A question instead of a demand. He answers it with a tenderness that breaks something open inside me, his hands sliding up my back, his lips moving against mine like he has all the time in the world.
We undress each other slowly, piece by piece, with none of the urgency of the other time. Each revealed inch of skin is explored, memorized, worshipped. When he finally lays me down on the rug in front of the fire, I'm trembling, and not from the cold.
"Jade." He hovers over me, his body blocking out everything but him. "Look at me."
I do. And what I see in his eyes makes tears prick at the corners of mine.
He enters me slowly, never breaking eye contact. I gasp at the stretch of him, at the intimacy of this position, at the way he's looking at me like I'm something precious.
"I've got you," he murmurs. "I've got you."
He moves in long, deep strokes, his rhythm unhurried, his focus entirely on me. Every thrust hits something deep inside me, not just physically but emotionally, cracking open walls I've spent years building.
The tears come without warning. They spill down my temples and into my hair, and I'm crying, actually crying whilehe moves inside me. He doesn't stop. Doesn't pull back. Just shifts his weight onto one arm so he can wipe my cheeks with his thumb.
"It's okay," he whispers. "I've got you. Let go."
So I do.
I let go of David and the betrayal that still haunts me. I let go of my mother's warnings and my own stubborn pride. I let go of every reason I've been fighting this, every wall I've built, every fear that's kept me locked up tight.
I let myself feel all of it. The pleasure and the pain and the terrifying vulnerability of opening myself to someone again.
When I come, it's not an explosion. It's a wave, rolling through me in slow, endless pulses that leave me shaking and sobbing in his arms. He follows me over the edge with a groan, burying his face in my neck, his whole body shuddering against mine.
We stay tangled together on the floor for a long time, neither of us speaking. The fire crackles beside us. The storm howls outside. And I cry until I have nothing left.
Eventually, my tears slow. My breathing evens out. Phoenix shifts, pulling me closer, arranging us so that my head rests on his chest and his arms wrap around me like he's afraid I'll disappear.
"I think I'm falling for you," I whisper into the silence. The words feel dangerous. Reckless. True.
He's quiet for a moment. Then his arms tighten around me.
"I already fell," he says. “A long time ago. Before you even knew my name."
I should be terrified. A man who watched me for years, who orchestrated our meeting, who brought me here against my will is telling me he loves me. Every alarm bell in my head should be screaming.
But I don't pull away.
I press closer, letting his heartbeat steady mine, letting his warmth seep into my bones.
Outside, the storm begins to quiet.
Inside, something new begins.
33
JADE
For the first time in days, there's sunlight.
It's weak, watery, filtering through the frost-covered windows like it's not quite sure it belongs here. But it's there. The storm has finally broken, leaving behind a world buried in white and a silence so profound it feels holy.
