We sit in comfortable silence, both of us coming down from the high.
Finally, I speak. "I want to try this. You and me. I want to give it a real chance."
Noah's arms tighten around me. "I want that too."
I lift my head to look at him. "It won't be easy. The kids are already dealing with so much, and if we mess this up—"
"We won't," Noah interrupts gently. "We'll go slow. We'll be smart about it. And if it doesn't work, we'll handle it like adults.But Rika—" He cups my face in his hands, his hazel eyes serious. "I'm all in. This isn't a fling for me. I'm not going anywhere."
Tears prick my eyes. "You say that now, but you don't know what you're signing up for."
"I know exactly what I'm signing up for," Noah says simply. "And I'm still here."
The words settle over me like a balm on a raw wound, soothing fears I didn't even realize I was carrying.
"Okay," I whisper. "Okay."
We kiss again, softer this time, tender and full of promise.
After a while, Noah shifts slightly, his hand running up and down my arm.
"Stay," he says quietly. "Stay the night with me."
My heart clenches. Part of me desperately wants to say yes, to fall asleep in Noah's arms and wake up beside him. But I think of Zoe and Matthew upstairs.
"I can't," I say reluctantly.
"I know," Noah says, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "But I had to ask."
I cup his face, my thumb stroking over his cheekbone, delighting in the scratchy feel of his stubble. "Rain check?"
His lips curve. "Rain check."
I reluctantly extract myself from Noah's arms and locate my discarded underwear. At the door, Noah pulls me in for one last kiss—deep and lingering and full of unspoken promises.
"Text me when you get inside," he murmurs against my lips.
I laugh softly. "It's literally fifteen feet away."
"I don't care. Text me."
"Okay," I agree, smiling.
I slip out into the cool night air, my body still humming with satisfaction, my heart lighter than it's been in months.
Back in my dark kitchen, I lean against the closed door and pull up my phone.
Me: Made it. Thank you for tonight.
Noah: Thank YOU. Sweet dreams, Rika.
I smile at the screen, then climb the stairs to my bedroom. I pause outside the kids' rooms, listening to their soft breathing, and feel a surge of protective love.
Then I slip into my own room, climb into bed, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I fall asleep with a smile on my face.
Maybe, just maybe, I'm allowed to have this.
Allowed to be happy.
