Behind me, I hear footsteps on the pavement.
"That's enough."
Noah's voice is calm but edged with steel. Mitchell's gaze snaps to him, eyes narrowing. "Oh, the help has opinions now?"
Somehow, from the deep, thick ooze that has overtaken my brain, my heart, and my entire body, I find my voice.
"Get off my property, Mitchell." My hands are shaking, but my voice is steady. "Now."
Mitchell casts one last disgusted look at both of us.
"You two deserve each other," he sneers. "Good luck with the ice queen, Noah. You'll get tired of freezing your cock with her soon enough."
Noah takes another step forward, his posture protective and unmistakably threatening.
"It's time for you to leave."
His voice is quiet, but there's a warning in it that even Mitchell can't miss. My ex-husband turns around and gets into his sports car, then drives away, tires screeching on the pavement.
I stand in the driveway, arms wrapped around myself, watching the red car disappear down the street. The sound of the engine fades.
Silence settles, heavy and suffocating.
Noah moves toward me.
"Rika."
But I take a step back, shaking my head.
My face feels numb. My chest feels hollow. Mitchell's words circle around in my brain like tiny rodents, gnawing at my sanity.
"I can't do this."
The words come out barely above a whisper and they're shaking with all the fear and insecurities I buried deep inside me.
Noah freezes. "Rika, don't listen to that guy."
"I can't." I shake my head again, harder this time, my wings trembling. "I just… I can't."
Because Mitchell is right.
I'm a terrible mother. I was so desperate for someone to want me, to touch me, to make me feel like something other than a failure, that I didn't think about what would happen if the kids came home early.
I didn't think about how it would affect my kids. I didn't think about them at all.
And now they're upstairs, hurt and angry, because I was selfish.
I turn and walk to the house. I don't look back.
I was so stupid. So stupid to think anyone could want me. To think I deserved this. Mitchell is right. I ruin everything I touch.
The thought loops in my head, bitter and familiar, as I cross the threshold and close the door behind me. I lean against the cool wood, my whole body trembling.
The house is so silent it hurts my bones. I slide down to the floor, my knees pulled to my chest. I close my eyes and let the first sob break free, raw and wrenching.
Because I know the truth now.
I was never meant to have this. I was never meant to be happy.
