“I have zero interest in dating right now.” I pause. “I just need breathing room.”
“A pilot program,” she muses, shifting into event-planner mode. “So what are the success metrics?”
“We both survive the holiday events. Nobody suspects anything.”
“And we both want to continue,” she finishes. “Those are our KPIs.”
“Key performance indicators for fake dating?”
“If we're doing this like a business arrangement, we're doing it right.” She's fighting a smile. “Okay, we need rules. Boundaries.”
“Agreed. What kind of rules?”
She starts pacing. “Physical contact—what's appropriate? Hand-holding? Arms linking?”
“Whatever feels natural,” I say. “I don't think we need to overthink?—”
“Evan. I overthink contingencies for a living. We're making rules.” She’s firm, but I can see she’s enjoying this. “Hand-holding seems safe. Your arm around my waist if we're standing together?”
“That works.”
“And we tell people ... what? That we met through work?”
“The truth. We met through the foundation, things developed naturally.”
“Things developed naturally,” she repeats. “Very romantic.”
“I can be more romantic if you think people will ask for details.”
Why am I hoping she wants me to be more romantic?
“Oh, they'll ask. Your mother will definitely ask. How long have we been dating?”
“A few weeks? Long enough to bring to events, not so long that people wonder why they haven't heard.”
“And what if—” She pauses. “What if one of your fancy board members falls in love with me?”
“Are you planning to run away with one of my board members?”
“I'm just saying, we should have a contingency plan.”
She runs through more scenarios. “What if we drink too much eggnog and decide to elope?”
Now I'm fully smiling. “Are you planning to elope with me?”
“Eggnog makes people do crazy things.”
“Okay, no eloping unless we can both pass a sobriety test.”
“Deal. Including reciting the alphabet backwards,” she says.
“While tap dancing.”
She stifles a laugh. “Getting ridiculous now.”
“You started it with elopement.”
“True,” she says. As she looks at me, I see curiosity mixed with the first hint of trust. “So, phase one through the gala. Assess our KPIs. If we both want to continue, negotiate phase two?”
