Something opens in my chest, fast and frightening and beautiful.
“I think, I love you,” I say before I can stop myself.
The words surprise me as much as they do him.
His breath catches. I see it happen. His jaw tightens just a little, like he’s bracing himself against something he didn’t expect but doesn’t want to lose.
He leans in, slowly, giving me time to pull away. I don’t.
His forehead rests against mine, his nose brushing my cheek, his voice barely there.
“I know,” he huffs a laugh when I try to punch him.
“I love you too,” he says, serious now.
He closes in.
The kiss is tentative at first, like we’re both afraid of moving too fast and breaking something tender. His lips are warm and soft, he tastes like mint, my lips tremble. We smile into it without meaning to.
Then it deepens, not rushed, just fuller. His hand finds mine, fingers lacing together like it’s always been that way. I can feel my heartbeat everywhere, in my throat, in my hands, in the place where our knees press together.
When we pull back, we don’t move far. Just enough to breathe.
He rests his forehead against mine again, smiling like he’s trying not to grin too wide.
“Hey,” he murmurs.
“Hey.”
Neither of us says anything else. We don’t need to.
We sit there until the night cools around us, until the stars shift, until the moment settles into something steady and real. Something that feels like a beginning, even if we don’t know what comes next.
For now, it’s enough.
It’s everything.
???
I blinked hard.
The memory dissolved like mist.
I sat parked outside my small house, keys still in the ignition, fingers gripping the steering wheel as if anchoring myself to the present.
I felt guilty. Stupidly, achingly guilty.
For remembering something that no longer belonged to me. For recalling a version of Ethan that didn’t exist anymore.
I shut my eyes tightly, exhaled, and leaned back in my seat.
It was just nostalgia. Just old feelings from a life long gone.
But my heart still felt bruised, even after all this time, the sweet pain of loving someone so much, still felt like an experience I shouldn’t have survived.
Chapter 33
Ethan
