We talked about Matt and the guilt. About the years I had spent believing I didn’t deserve happiness, let alone a family. About the way loving Lily had cracked something open in me without even trying.
“And Claire?” Dr. Alvarez asked.
My throat tightened. “She scares me.”
“Why?”
“Because she still sees me,” I said. “Even knowing everything.”
Dr. Alvarez nodded.
“Yes,” I said. “And she still wants a life with me.”
Dr. Alvarez raised an eyebrow. “She does?”
“I think so,” I replied.
“And how does that make you feel?”
Relieved. Terrified.
“Everything,” I admitted.
“Good,” Dr. Alvarez said. “That means you’re finally making choices.”
I nodded.
That night, after the house was quiet, Claire said it out loud.
We were sitting on the porch, knees brushing, the air heavy with summer and something unspoken.
“I want a life with you,” she said softly. “But we should take it slow.”
I turned toward her fully. “Slow is good.”
“I don’t want to repeat old mistakes,” she continued. “I’m not that girl anymore.”
“I’m not the same guy either,” I said quietly.
She studied my face, searching. “Promise?”
I didn’t answer immediately.
Then I reached for her hand, grounding myself with the feel of her.
“I promise I will never hurt you again,” I vowed. “I’d die before I let any harm come to my family and that includes you.”
Claire’s breath caught.
“And if I ever make a mistake,” I sternly added, “you will let me know.”
She nodded slowly, tears shining but not falling. “Okay.”
Behind us, Lily slept peacefully, unaware that she had already rewritten the shape of our lives.
I sat there long after Claire left that night, listening to the quiet house, thinking about the family we hadn’t planned, but were choosing anyway.
For the first time, I didn’t feel afraid of the future. I felt ready to face it, starting with taking responsibility for my mistakes.
