Anton is thoughtfulas hell.
He’s proving very quickly that he deserves space in my life.
Especially when I talked about Zoe. I wasn’t sure of what to do. Following my gut means re-tracing the steps of a senior officer with extensive training, in a small town that doesn’t want to relive the ache of losing a young woman. It’s my job to confirm the documentation is complete, not accurate. Pushing past that line could cost me credibility I haven’t earned yet.
But I just feel it’s off, and that was enough for Anton to support me.
Anton could have answered a million different ways, but he chose one clear statement.
Trust yourself. I’ll back you up.
It feels even better coming from an older man with a hell of a lot of life experience. An ex-Navy SEAL who has seen and done more than most will in a lifetime. A man who knows his shit.
My mentor.
Suddenly, Lara’s student-teacher-romance comment races through my brain.
I do find his competence, his authority so goddamn sexy. He saw my potential before I did; he has mastery in a space I’m passionate about. And in the bedroom, the man knew things about more than just law enforcement and security… The last thing I should have trusted myself with was a man I admire this much.
I’m getting heated, and I can’t let myself fantasize about that anymore. I need to get over the attraction and slide into pure friendship…like he has.
A small part of me wonders how it seems so simple for him. He flirted a little last night, but I could tell he was completely in control when he touched me, and I never felthe’d take that massage past my ankles.
How could he have gone from having so much chemistry with me to a simple friendship so quickly? Meanwhile, I still want to slip my fingers under the covers when I think of him in those gray sweatpants.
Monarch Hills feelsunreal to someone like me. Sweeping pastures, horses grazing as if they belong in a painting, everything curated and intentional.
Santi once told me it started as a dream. A place where the Mendez family could finally feel secure. Looking around now, it’s hard to believe it was ever anything else.
As I step out of the residential part of the ranch, I wind past a pool and pool house encircled by a huge outdoor kitchen. I might have to stay here at least through next summer, just to experience one of their famous pool parties.
A paved, manicured path gives way to a gravel one, heading out toward the barns, stables, and pastures. It’s truly a paradise. In fact, it’s so awe-inspiring, so idyllic, I decide it’s a good idea to take a photo and show my mom.
I hold up my cell and snap the rolling hills in the background, just as in the foreground, Ava, Kat, and Lara walk out of the barn with two horses.
Before rushing over to say hi, I send my mom the pic with the caption:
City Girl Check-in- The view is pretty great.
I press send and think immediately again of my view yesterday morning.
Gray sweatpants.
A text comes in from Mom:
Mom
It’s gorgeous baby, can’t wait to visit. Have you and Anton talked any more about the house and finances?
Leave it to my mom. She needs control and information. They’re her addiction.
I, on the other hand, like to feel things out before I get in my bulldozer.
Like last night. I was feeling out our ability to touch each other without wanting to fall into bed. He succeeded. I did not.
My mom doesn’t know it, but at this point, she can probably trust Anton more than me to be responsible in this situation.
Me
