But Anton’s not exactly the kind of man she usually points out to me. Then again, my last boyfriend was the epitome of the polished man she’d like me to date. CEO. Educated… And he turned out to be bad as they come.
I let out a moan.
It’s like the whole house is listening now, waiting to see what I’ll do.
Okay, Freya. Think.
It’s been three weeks since that morning in Echo Valley.
A flash of the night before plays in my mind: Anton’s arms catching me on the stairs, his bass voice, low in my ear.Honey, holding you is the easiest thing I’ve done all night.
I sink down on the edge of the tub, knees weak.
Am I going to keep this baby?
My mother’s voice drifts through my head.Lead with your mind, baby.
My mind says no. Too soon. Too complicated.
But when I lay a hand on my belly, my heart answers louder, and I swear I can already feel this living thing inside me, right on the palm of my hand.
I want this.
For the first time in my life, I want something without reason. Even though it doesn’t make sense. It’s just true.
Maybe the truest thing I’ve ever known.
And I know it in my bones that Anton will be real with me. We’ll figure this out. He isn’t a man to shirk responsibility and even…maybe he’ll be happy? Like me, he’s not getting any younger, and I saw how he looked at Kat’s son, Theo, on the ranch. How he’d give him rides on his shoulders. How Theo would ask him to launch him in the air.
I pick up my phone and tap to get to the last message Anton and me exchanged which was last week. Though the texts are little nothings, we’ve kept in touch, to make sure that pinky promise of ours stood on solid ground.
The last text I sent him was a photo of my steering wheel, dash, and unit number on my first day as driver, and his reply still hits me square in the chest:Proud of you.
I swallow hard.
My fingers move over the screen, but I pause.
He’s not the kind of man who half steps into anything. He would take this on completely.
I need to be sure before I hand him something this permanent because what if the test is a false positive? I can’t go rushing into announcing this to Anton and then it turns out the test was faulty.
Maybe I’m in denial, but really, I need a doctor, not a cardboard box, to confirm this. Waiting is the sensible thing. False alarms aren’t my M.O.
I find a doctor the next week and book in for my twelve-week mark.
By then, my body stops letting me pretend. Exhaustion clings to me. I run hot at night.
And then the doctor makes it official.
After that, waiting to tell Anton isn’t about certainty anymore.
It’s about the moment I change everything.
Because once he knows, my life won’t just be mine anymore.
6
The smellof burnt espresso sits heavy in the air at Café Luna. I’m half-tuned out to what Gabriel is saying though I shouldn’t be.
