My heart squeezes and I nod.
“Last night, you mentioned the white picket fence thing. The life you want.” He pauses. “Were you waiting until marriage? Is that why you’re still a virgin?”
Am I still a virgin? We had a lot of sex for two people who didn’t fuck last night. I try to ignore the heat that races to my cheeks. “Yes,” I confess. “Not for religious reasons, exactly. Just…”
“You want it to be special.”
“Yes.”
“I understand that.” He drops his hand to my shoulder, then to the sheet, which he tugs up to better cover my naked body. “I’m sorry if?—”
“I wanted what we did last night,” I say in a hurry. “I really, really wanted it.”
He exhales and grins, his eyes crinkling. “Me too. Obviously.”
I can still feel him on top of me, stroking his cock and spurting all over my belly. I know he wanted it.
It was heady, how much he wanted it.
And I’m a little sad he has to leave right now and we can’t do it again. But in the cool light of early morning, I don’t say that out loud. I know better. That was last night. That was magic. But now we need to gently close the door on the magic, because this is real life and we need to work together.
He searches my face. “How old would you be when you meet this guy? The one you’re going to marry?”
I frown slightly, confused by the direction of the question. “I don’t know. I mean, in the next couple of years, I was hoping? Why?”
“And when you meet him—would you want a long engagement? Or would you want to, I don’t know, have kids right away?”
“Jeff, what?—”
“Just humor me.”
I study his face, trying to read what’s happening behind those eyes. “I’d want to get to know my husband first. So… yes, a long engagement sounds nice.”
“Better than finding out after the fact that you accidentally married someone you don’t know.” He squeezes my sheet-covered knee. “It’s okay. I know that threw you for a loop.”
“Getting to know someone first before marrying him was always the plan,” I say dryly.
“Good plan.” He winks. “And then kids? Quickly or wait a while?”
“I’d like to be married for a while before adding kids to the mix.” A funny heat swirls through me. “I like the idea of being someone’s wife first, and then…”
“Good.” His fingers trace up onto my thigh, then back to my knee again. “That’s good. What if it was a six-month engagement?”
When I don’t answer, because I don’t understand the question, he continues.
“What if…” He takes a breath. “What if it was a six-month engagement, and it had to be secret because you worked together? And what if he traveled a lot for work—but this was going to be his last year doing that. And at the end of those six months, after you didn’t have to keep it secret anymore, he’d go anywhere you wanted. Build you that white picket fence anywhere you want.”
My pulse starts hammering in my ears. “Jeff?—”
“You don’t have to make a decision now. You have six months to make this decision. We don’t need to get an annulment. We don’tneed to get a divorce. We don’t need to do anything. I want you to take the next six months to consider, privately, ifwecould be that thing you’re looking for. And if, or when, you decide that we could be that thing, then we’ll consummate our marriage. And if you decide that it’s not what you want, then we won’t, and when I leave the team, we’ll get a quiet annulment and nobody will ever know that we were accidentally married for a period of time.”
“For six months.” I stare at him, my mind racing.
“You can decide sooner, if you want. The ball is in your court.”
My throat feels tight. “You’re serious.”
“Dead serious.” His hand cups my cheek. “I know I’m older than you. Maybe too old for that white-picket-fence dream, but I’m pretty good with my hands. And when you’re ready for kids, I’d be game for that too. I’ve been ready since—” He cuts himself off. “I promise I know what I want, Molly. I want you, however you will have me. And I’m more than willing to wait for you to figure out if you want it too.”
