As we walked toward the waiting room, Declan kept a steadying hand on my elbow. “You really love her, don’t you?” he asked quietly.
I didn’t hesitate. “Yes. I do.”
“Does she know?”
I thought about all the things I’d whispered to her in the truck. “Not yet. But she will—as soon as she’s well enough to hear it.”
The waiting room doors slid open, and Nora looked up from where she sat beside Mikhail. Her face brightened when she saw me, and she ran forward, throwing herself into my arms with complete trust.
Chapter 16
Ella
Ifelt the ice crack beneath my feet before my mind could even register the sound. In that split second, as the surface began to give way, only one thought consumed me: Nora.
“Jake!” I shrieked with overwhelming terror. I used my last rational thought to throw my daughter towards him, away from me, and the breaking ice. I saw her small body slide across the frozen surface, and relief flooded through me, knowing she was safe, even as I felt myself plunging downward.
The shock of the freezing water stole my breath away instantly. One moment I was standing; the next, I was enveloped in liquid darkness, so cold it burned. My clothes became leaden weights, dragging me deeper.
I kicked desperately, fighting to break the surface, but in the darkness, I couldn’t find the hole I’d fallen through. My fingers scraped against the solid ceiling, frantically searching for the opening. Mylungs screamed for air, pressure building in my chest until I thought it would explode.
Nora. I had to get back to her. The thought pulsed through me, giving me strength for one more attempt to find the surface.
But my body began to betray me, and my mind became strangely calm. I saw her face—her smile when she lost her first tooth, the concentrated frown on her brow when she colored inside the lines, her peaceful expression when she slept. I saw Jake, the way he looked at me in the kitchen that night, as if I were something precious, he was afraid to touch.
My lungs gave out. I couldn’t hold my breath any longer. The water rushed in, burning a path down my throat as my body convulsed in protest. Darkness crowded the edges of my vision.
I’m sorry, Nora. I’m so sorry.
The pain receded. I felt almost peaceful as consciousness began to slip away. The cold didn’t hurt anymore. Nothing did.
Then—something happened. I could see myself. I could see Jake plunging into the water, him grabbing my hair and yanking hard. I was vaguely aware of movement, of being pulled upward. But it seemed distant, as if it were happening to someone else. The world had gone gray and muffled, like being wrapped in cotton.
I floated through the ice, above the scene, watching as Declan dragged my body onto the cold surface. Strange how peaceful it felt up here, hovering, while below me, such violence unfolded. Jake heaved himself out of the water and knelt over my still body, his face contorted, while Declan barked out orders and started chest compressions. I observed with clinical detachment as he began —one, two, three—the force of them rocking my lifeless body. From this vantage point, I could see Rory holding Nora back on the riverbank, her small face crumpled in terror as she screamed for me. I wanted to go to her so badly, to tell her that I was fine, that everything was going to be just fine, but something held me back.
My attention was back on Jake, who tilted my head back, pinched my nose, and sealed his mouth over mine. My chest rose with his breath, then fell. Nothing. Declan returned to compressions, shouting words that rippled upward to where I hovered. “Breathe, damn it! Nora needs you. We need you. Come back to us!”
His words were a reminder that she was still waiting on the riverbank. I felt a curious tug at the mention of my daughter’s name, like an invisible cord connecting me to the shell below. But the tether seemed so thin, so easy to sever. Up here, there was warmth and weightlessness. Down there waited pain and cold.
Jake’s voice cracked as he bent to my face again. “Ella, please. Fight. You’re the strongest woman I know. Fight.”
I drifted closer, studying the tears freezing on his lashes, the raw desperation in his movements. Something about his brokenness called to me. The cord between my consciousness and body pulled tighter, yanking me downward. At first, I resisted, then surrendered.
Suddenly, I was slammed back into crushing pain as my lungs convulsed and river water erupted from my mouth.
I was rolled onto my side, coughing violently as water poured from my mouth and nose. The pain came rushing back—burning lungs, aching chest, the terrible, bone-deep cold that made every cell in my body scream.
My eyes fluttered open briefly. Jake’s face swam above me, pale and terrified, his hair plastered to his forehead with water. He had gone in after me; I wasn’t just imagining it in my dreamlike state.
“N-Nora,” I managed to rasp.
“She’s safe,” his voice assured me. “On the riverbank with Rory.”
Relief washed through me, stronger than the pain. Nora was safe. Nothing else mattered.
Darkness crept in again, but different this time—not the frightening emptiness of before, but a heavy blanket of exhaustion. I tried to fight it, to stay withthem, but my body had other ideas.
As consciousness slipped away, I heard Jake’s voice, soft and urgent, saying something about falling and strength and us. I wanted to respond, to reach for him, but the darkness claimed me before I could.
