“Today is the day!” Mira claps excitedly beside me and I can’t help the smile that grows on my face.
I may be the grump of the Girl Gang, or some might say, the “bitchy one” but I can’t fault Mira’s sheer joy when it comes to just about everything. Including what is guaranteed to be some weird Chewy type of Galentine’s. I’m not even holding out hope that this will go down peacefully and without mention of Rhodie’s ass. Or us getting into some type of trouble with the men, but then when have Chewy’s ideas ever gone down well with the men?
“Are we ready ladies?” Ana turns to ask us, fist poised to knock.
I meet the eyes of the rest of the Girl Gangers, including Joy who looks equal parts excited and terrified. I notice Jazz giveher hand a small squeeze while Vi has her elbow looped through Joy’s, offering comfort.
“It’s gonna be weird, isn't it?” Kaia asks. She’s a little more like Ana, Nat and myself. A little tougher and slightly more pragmatic. And murdery. Mustn't forget that.
“Undoubtedly,” Remy answers before brightening, “but it’ll be fun weird!”
“If you say so,” Sasha mutters under his breath. Since we all found out his plan to woo Roman a little we’ve officially forced him into the fold. So Galentine’s is now a full-fledged party.
“Let’s do this,” Ana mutters, knocking twice.
We stand back and wait for Chewy to answer, but when the door swings open we aren’t met with a mass of curls and a gator. Nope. We are met with tanned oily abs for days, low slung jeans topped off with the mask from Scream.
“Uuumm,” we all take a step back, gazing at the cabin to make sure we’re at the right one.
“”Welcome to Galentine’s!” Chewy sing songs, waving jazz hands around the half naked man’s torso.
“Oh, we are so screwed.” Nat mutters, eyes never leaving the Adonis belt this man is equipped with.
“In a good way?” Joy squeaks.
“Hopefully.” Mira grins, following Chewy and the strange man inside.
We all follow behind and I have to admit, Chewy has outdone herself. The house looks like the playboy mansion threw up in it, with pink feathers and balloons on almost every surface. She’s playing Spice Girls on the sound system, there is the Barbie movie playing on the big screen TV and all the food on her unusually shaped charcuterie boards are either boob shaped or dick shaped.
“Holy shit,” Kaia whispers under her breath.
“Yeah, she really went all out,” Remy agrees.
“Well, I’m starved and I’m childless for the next few hours, so let's make this count,” I announce, heading straight for the tray of mini hotdogs.
Don’t judge me. Finishing Tess’s leftovers has given me a taste for tiny food.
“That’s a good point. We’re childless, the men are elsewhere, we have good food, a half naked man and each other.” Vi says, heading straight for the cheese board.
Chewy sniggers, and then full out grins when Sasha moves toward the fruit tray. I know I should ask what that’s about, but at this point I’m getting my hot dog on so I’m not too worried.
“Chewy, where did you find him?” Remy asks, tipping her head toward the oily man, who seems content to stand in the corner, filling our glasses with bubbly wine. “And why is he wearing a mask?”
“Masked men are hot right now.” Chewy answers, completely ignoring where she got him from.
And I know why. Five more masked hotties emerge from the hall and I choke on my hotdog. Beating my chest to dislodge the meat a large warm hand lands on my back, gently rubbing while a deep voice asks if I’m OK. No, I’m not OK, and neither is my underwear.
“Oh snickerdoodle, we aresoscrewed,” Mira whispers before shoving an olive into her mouth as she stares at the abs on display.
“Ladies, these are our practitioners for the afternoon!” Chewy does her Vanna White thing again. “They will be pandering to our every need, including the facial and massage station that I have set up. And no need to form an orderly line, I have more men where they came from!” As if on cue more men emerge from down her hallway, like a clown car.
“OK, first off, where the hell are you getting these men from? Second, where are they hiding? And third, does Rhodie know about this?” I ask, listing my questions off on my fingers.
“I found them on Craigslist, but don’t worry, I have personally vetted them. Second, I have a very spacious home now due to renovations, and third, nope.”
Nat cackles and slaps her thigh. “I love when this shit happens. Savage gets all butthurt and then spends the evening showing me he appreciates me.”
“You’re welcome.” Chewy answers in her flat tone. “Oh, you also need to eat up, there is a surprise at the bottom.” She says mysteriously before swanning into the open plan living room and disappearing behind a folding screen. “Robes are back here with your names on them, so feel free to strip off and partake in the pampering.”
