I thought of Sebastian. My older brother had been my greatest advisor when we were younger. But I couldn’t bother him now, not when his wife was in the hospital, her life hanging by a thread.
So, I called the one person who, at any other point in my life, would never have been an option for advice on anything more serious than what drinks to buy for a party.
“Logan?” Michael answered, his tone laced with confusion and a hint of worry. After all, he was usually the one calling me.
“The DNA results are in, Mike,” I said, my eyes glued to the computer screen.
“Okay… So what’s up?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t opened them yet.”
“And what are you waiting for?”
“I don’t know. I just… I’m feeling tense about it.”
“Look, to be perfectly honest, those little girls are your carbon copies. I’d be shocked if they weren’t yours. Especially one of them…”
“What do you mean, ‘especially one of them’? They’re identical twins.”
“But one of them has that permanently irritated look. That grumpy little face… it’s exactly like yours when we were kids, Logan.”
He laughed, and I tried to picture my childhood photos. He was right; I had been a perpetually sullen child, just like Anna.
“When you found out about Alice…” I began again. “Were you ever afraid the DNA test would be negative? Or were you afraid it would be positive?”
“Are you crazy? If it had been negative, I would’ve fled the country with Alice. I’d already known her for almost two months by then, and I loved her more than anything. Are you scared?”
“I think so.”
“Which one? That it’s negative, or that it’s positive?”
“The first one. And maybe the second one, too. But… about it being positive, it’s not exactly fear, it’s just…”
“That it makes it all real,” he finished for me. “That’s when it truly hits you that you’re responsible for another life. For two lives, in your case.”
“I’m going to be a terrible father, Mike.”
“Where did you get that idea? Of course you won’t.”
“I’m an absent son and brother. Why would I be any different as a father?”
“You want to talk about being a bad son? Mom spent my entire childhood and adolescence getting calls from the school because of me. In college, I was a troublemaker—I even ended up in a police station a few times. Then I dropped out of architecture school and did nothing but party.”
“Right… Maybe only Sebastian was the exemplary son.”
“He was. But you? You were always her pride and joy. The one with the best grades, the hardest worker. But then you went to college, and your life became all about medicine.”
“I need you to understand, it’s not exactly like that.”
“When our father died, you were there. When I needed you a few months ago, you were there for me, too. None of us doubt that you love us, Logan. But life isn’t just about showing up for the bad times. You need to be there for the good ones, too. Especially with your daughters. Otherwise, you’ll blink, and they’ll be grown up without any good memories of you from their childhood.”
“Like us with our father.”
“Just like the three of us with our father.”
“I’m not good with kids, Mike. I don’t even know how to start a conversation with them. They call me ‘silly.’”
He laughed. “They don’t know you yet. Give it time. And approach them in your own way.”
