Chapter 13
Florienne
Lesson 78 from The Vesper’s Guide: A bride’s power lies not in submission, but in making him believe she has submitted.”
—SECRET TEACHINGS
After I’ve eaten and relieved myself, Drayven leads me toward a mini lagoon he found so I can wash. Our feet sink into the detritus of fallen leaves and mud, stirring the scent of rain and moss, thick and ancient as the ruins themselves. The lagoon is really more of a hole in the ground collecting rainwater. But it appears fresh. I’d much rather stay at the campfire and talk with him. I want to know everything. I want to know what happened after he went into Kasaros’s service, where he’s been living, who are his friends… girlfriends…
“I’ll go in first,” he announces. “I’ll face away, but I’ll stay close. If you feel faint, use me for support, okay?”
I scowl, ready to tell Drayven I’m fine, but he drops his breeches and heads to the pool—naked. My jaw drops. As hewalks, each muscular globe of his buttocks flexes. It’s not until he slides into the water and wades out waist deep that I think I might be drooling. Maybe I wipe my mouth.
When did he grow so impossibly perfect? Battle and violence have sculpted his body with more precision than Amara’s stone effigy. Heat rises to my cheeks when I glance down at my own body. A decade in the Pen has made me weak, soft, and covered in random dark symbols that tell a shameful story.
Dray stays true to his word and keeps his vision locked on the other side of the lagoon. It must be midday now. The sun shines directly through the hole above our heads. Tiny birds twitter and hop between branches. Butterflies dance.
He folds his arms, biceps pop and twitch. It’s some kind of anxiety building in him, some kind of pathological need to get moving.
“You sure you don’t need help?” he asks.
“I said I’m fine.”
“Okay.” He lifts his hands in surrender.
He’s being so nice. More than nice.
If he loves me, why didn’t he tell me he was alive? He could have come to me at any time while I was in the Pen. Biting my lower lip, I glance down the length of my body again. I never cared about my figure before. Never cared about appearing attractive except that my looks could be used to my advantage.
The mask made Drayven lose control. He tried to scare me away by saying he wanted to violate me, to fuck me hard and deep. But it turned me on to hear him talk with such urgent need thickening his voice. No other man could make me feel so wanted—not the ninety-nine feminine mysteries, not the magic blood in my veins, but me. My body heats even now. So I teased him. I pushed him into doing something he didn’t want to do. And then I stroked his cock until he came.
I try to ignore this growing ache in my chest. Did I force him? Have I ruined things between us already?
“Florienne?”
“Getting in,” I mumble.
I undress and slip into the water. It’s cool, but not freezing. Either that or I’m not feeling very much right now except shame.
Water sloshes, and my head snaps up. Dray is wading backward toward me.
“If you’re worried you’ll faint,” he says, “put your hands on my shoulders to steady yourself. I promise I won’t look.”
“What if I want you to look?” The words are out before I can stop them.
He tenses. “Flori…”
That’s all I need to hear to know my answer. I may have fantasized about him during my confinement these years, but he’s lived his life. For all I know, he’s only with me out of duty. Or maybe a deal with Kasaros he made as a child, one he can’t break free from.
“It’s a jest.” I force a smile into my voice.
He seems to relax, so I scoop water onto my body and scrub dried blood from my skin. He’s within reaching distance, staying close and vigilant. Mere inches separate us, but it feels like a chasm.
I never imagined the lost years when I dreamed of us reuniting. The reasons why he was missing. The people we’ve grown into.
Each drop spilled distorts our reflections, making us strangers. I hate seeing it so dunk myself beneath the surface.
Water closes over me, quiet, peaceful but lonely.
