“What?”
“And that’s a huge part of the reason why I think Skyler would be perfect for us.” West paused long enough for me to finish his thought.
“I know what you mean. He enjoys the pain,” I said as I nodded.
“It’s like he needs it. Just like you and I need to give it.” West liked to reiterate that fact all week, as if he had to reason with me. “He’ll be here because he needs it,” he insisted.
Steph and David arrived and sat across from us to chat for a bit. West took care of most of the talking for both of us, and I contributed here and there. I was preoccupied with watching the entrance, hoping Skyler—our ghost—would make his appearance.
About ten minutes later, the young man wearing a blue puffy coat and a knit beanie walked into the main room.Our ghost. My stomach dropped as those hyper butterflies sprang into action. Though I sat motionless, I was sure the peoplearound me would be able to hear how hard my heart was thumping. I was careful not to breathe or exhale too loudly, as if any noise from me might scare him away. Unable to keep myself from staring, my gaze followed his every movement. Skyler briskly walked toward the hallway with the private rooms and disappeared around the corner, ending my dangerous and obsessive eye stalking.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Never before had the sight of a bottom captivated and mesmerized me like that. I needed to get a grip. I rubbed my eyes with my thumb and middle finger and then slid my hand down my face. I stroked the scruff along my jaw, feeling like I had a grip now.
“Hey,” West said to get my attention. When I looked at him, a huge smile spread across his face. “Our ghost is here.”
I raised my eyebrow at him, and all I could muster to say was, “No shit.”
West barely managed to keep his laughter to a dull roar. I was glad he was able to enjoy this as much as he was. I was more than concerned about myself, however. As long as we’d been searching for our third, we’d never come any closer than this. And although I wasn’t ready to let West know, I felt an exciting connection to Skyler too. Though, I had a strong feeling West already knew.
“What’s the plan?” I asked West. “Since you’re the one who seems to still be able to control himself, what do we do next?”
“We’ll wait and see if he comes out here.”
“What if he doesn’t? I don’t want to risk him arranging something with someone else.” Even I was able to hear the near desperation in my voice, and I wasn’t a fan of the way I sounded.
“Relax, Spence.”
I was annoyed, and feared the next time I’d see our ghost he would be with someone else. I’d just swallowed the last of thewater when out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of the blue puffy coat. His appearance caused a tidal wave of sorts in my stomach, and I resigned myself to the fact that I had it bad for this guy and the possibility of things working out.
Skyler had taken his hat off, and the lighting from above made some dark blond strands of his hair stick out more. In his hand he held a cell phone while he glanced around the room, probably waiting for Norman. He wandered around, occasionally saying hello and greeting people. Few people spoke to him or acknowledged him, though. While Skyler didn’t look as though he was seeking attention, he looked starved for a certainkindof attention.
My guess was that Norman saw that in him and swooped in to take advantage of him. Young men who had masochistic characteristics were rare. Even rarer were the ones who understood that they had those needs and embraced them.
I should have felt guilty for West and I taking away whatever happiness Skyler was getting out of his time with Norman. But I didn’t. West and I could give him more. Fuck that, wewouldgive him more. We’d give himbetter.
7
Shawn
Istared into the empty room that Norman and I played in each Saturday. He was always here before me and had the room set up for us. That was how it’d been since we’d started playing.
Maybe he was just running late. The traffic was bad since it was raining. It had snowed during the week, and the rain was now turning the roads into a mess. So maybe it was just traffic.
Unsure of what to do, I looked up and down the hallway before I took a seat on the bench across from our room. From the inside pocket of my coat, I pulled out my cell phone and checked for texts or a missed call. No alerts awaited for me, though.
I started thinking the worst—that Norman wasn’t coming tonight. During the time I’d spent with him, we’d exchanged cell phone numbers but never had to use them. I wasn’t going to sit around and worry, so I decided to call him.
Being mindful of other people around me and their privacy, I walked to the end of the hallway and out the back door to the smokers’ area to make the call. There was only one coupleoutside, standing under the black awning for shelter. I pulled my hood over my head to keep my beanie as dry as possible and walked to the uncovered area at the end. I pressed the number under Norman’s contact and put the phone against my ear. Almost immediately, the loud tone indicating that I had an out of service number blared, and it sent a cold wave through my body. I pressed the button to end the call, then headed back inside.
Still clutching the phone in hand, I made my way to the bar. I didn’t bother looking into the empty room because I didn’t want to see any reminders of Norman right now. I sat on the bar stool, and the bartender came right over.
“Hey, Skyler. What will it be tonight?”
Thinking that this was all explainable, and there was still a chance Norman would appear, I replied with, “Just a ginger ale.”
It only took a moment or two before the ginger ale was placed in front of me. I kept the phone on the bar between my body and the glass and stared at it. Over the course of a few minutes, the brutal truth set in. I had known next to nothing about Norman. What I had known, though, was that he’d been the only person I’d encountered at Edge who had no issues playing roughly with me. Now that had evaporated.
