“So?” I prompted again, hoping she’d elaborate. “You were rocking with me and then went silent. Why?”
She finished chewing and then added, “Because,” before putting another forkful into her mouth.
“Because?”
“Mhmm.”
“Because why?” I finished the last two bites of my fettuccine to give her a moment to elaborate, but nothing ever came. “You’ve got to give me something to hang my hat on other than because.”
“Just because.”
“Just because isn’t acceptable to me.”
“Oh well. Deal with it.”
“One second you’re moaning and grinding against me and then nothing. You did it at the hotel and then again on the jet—”
“You weren’t supposed to affect me like you did, okay?”
I studied her face for a moment. Taylor was the strongest woman I knew, and despite that, she could no longer keep her mask in place. I saw a woman who had hardened herself for the sins of another man. She’d never given another man a chance to see her intimately beyond the mask… until me. And it scared the fuck out of her because she wanted it.
“In a bad way?”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. She looked at me, and her big brown eyes were swimming in tears.Don’t let her get upset here.
“Well, it’s a good thing you hate me, then,” I said quietly, and a small smile appeared on her lips.
“I keep telling myself that I don’t like you and all of the reasons why I shouldn’t. I know how dangerous and deadly you can be. And it has nothing to do with your violent tendencies.”
“Well, good. At least the violence isn’t a hard no.” She laughed a little harder. I leaned forward and stretched my arm across the table toward her. I stroked my thumb along her forearm. “You know what I think?”
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“I think you’re afraid—”
“I am not,” she interrupted me.
“Shh. Let me finish. I think you’re afraid to trust a man. And I understand. Your foster father set the bar in your mind, which was never set very high to begin with, yet it’s one you never wanted another man to reach. Or maybe fear dictated whether you gave any man a chance. You forbid yourself from going down that path and deployed an army of guards to protect you and keep you safe. Somewhere between the United States and Sweden, that trusty little army you have fell asleep on the front lines.”
I slid my fingertips lightly down her forearm, and when they reached her wrist, she turned her hand slightly to the left, opening her hand to me. I picked her hand up, slid my fingers under hers, and set my thumb on top of her fingers.
“Then, before you knew it, a man breached the walls of that army and made you feel everything you told yourself was impossible,” I said as my thumb stroked the top of her fingers. “Sound about right?”
Taylor nodded.
“Except, you hate me,” I said and then grinned.
“Yes, there’s that part,” she replied and nodded while smiling. “If only it wasn’t for that part.”
“Yeah. Would have been perfect, right?”
“Probably pretty close to perfect.”
“Except she’s addicted to hand sanitizer.”
“And he’s got a Tic-Tac fetish.”
I laughed out loud and shook my head.
