“How was Chase?”
“He was good.” Brandon took a deep breath. “You know, every year he and his brothers do some sort of practical joke to their mom’s table as it’s set for holidays.”
“That sounds like it could get pretty involved since there are four of them.”
“He said they all get along really well.”
“That’s good. He and Morgan both seem easy going.”
“They are. He asked me if my mom kept me safe at photo shoots and stuff. I told him she was always there.”
“She cared about you, Brandon.”
“Bullshit!” Brandon’s chest rose and fell rapidly. “She hated me.”
“I don’t believe she hated you.”
“She did. You know how I know?”
“How?”
“We never had a single picture together. Nothing at the holidays. Nothing on my birthday. Nothing.”
“Many people don’t have pictures, Brandon. Before cell phones, it was all cameras and film.”
“I don’t buy for a second that my mom couldn’t afford a fucking camera. But you know what? Chase had tons of pictures of his family. Pictures with his brothers. Pictures with grandparents. Pictures with his mom and dad. My mom gave me every toy or electronic I wanted. But we had nothing that mattered.”
“Brandon—”
“She hated me! The worst part about it is that she kept me from seeing my dad. He had this big, loving family, and she kept me from it!”
He broke down sobbing. I wrapped my arm around him and tried to comfort him. I hoped it would calm him down some to prevent his heart from racing with palpitations.
“Brandon, your mother and Chase went through a less-than-pleasant experience together. They were threatened and blackmailed.”
“Oh, yeah. He told me that he’d tried killing himself when he found out she was pregnant with me. So, yeah, I guess I’m just a buzzkill. She hated me so much that she decided to keep me just to spite my dad and keep us apart. And he hated me so much that he tried to kill himself.”
“Brandon, stop. They were being threatened and blackmailed. They were kids.”
“I was young too. I’d just graduated high school and thought I knew everything. I was so fucking stupid.”
“Sometimes things happen that are outside of our control. They can be terrible and consuming. Just like you, what happened to Chase isn’t his fault. You can sit here and look at everything negative in your rearview mirror and ask the universe why. But I can tell you that you’ll never get the answer. Or you can look ahead at the chance to have a relationship with your father. And when things start to get overwhelming and hurt, then you lean on me.” I kissed the side of his forehead. “Those are your options, pup.”
Brandon nodded, pushed himself off the ground, and held his hand out for me to take.
When I stood, he said, “I want to look forward.”
I wrapped my arms around him before kissing his lips.
“That’s a brave choice, pup.”
“I have you beside me, and you won’t let me get burned.”
“I promise you that I won’t let you get burned.”
We walked back to the parking lot with my arm around him. Brandon had a lot of pent-up anger and frustration and needed to get some things off his chest. And I’d much rather him release it as opposed to keeping it all inside and shutting me out.
16
