I climbed into bed beside him and reached for the plate with the cupcakes. He propped himself against me in an awkward position. Part of his back and shoulders leaned against me and his head rested on my abdomen and lap. He stretched his legs out toward the edge of the bed so his feet almost dangled off. I handed him a cupcake and then took the other one for myself.
“Now, tell me again what inspired you to bake cupcakes today.” I bit into the fluffy layers of frosting until I found the chocolate cake. It was very good.
“It was Wednesday.” He shrugged. “It seemed just like a boring Wednesday. I thought I’d add some excitement with cupcakes.”
“We certainly had an exciting evening, huh, pup?”
“Yeah.”
“The cupcakes are delicious.”
“Thank you.”
“Here you are,” I said as I handed him a mug of hot chocolate. “Extra marshmallows,” I added.
“Thank you,” he said quietly.
After a few sips, he handed me the mug and slid back into the same position he’d been in. I set my hand on his chest and slowly rubbed his torso. Within moments, his eyelids were heavy and soon closed, but I continued to rub him to relax him. Not only did this relax Brandon in these intense situations, but me as well.
“What’s his name?” Brandon asked.
I looked down at him and saw that his eyes were still closed.
“Chase,” I replied. I pictured Chase sitting across from me this afternoon and how the two of them looked so much alike. “Chase Hawkins.”
Brandon smiled and rolled onto his side, facing me. I pulled the blanket up, making sure to cover his legs and feet. I reached behind his pillow and felt around until I found his stuffed teddy bear. I put the bear under the blanket and close to his hands in case he wanted it. Quickly, he took hold of his bear and pulled it against his chest and stomach.
He was calm and content, which made me feel at ease.
11
BRANDON
I satin my car for a few minutes and busied myself with wiping off some dust from the display. Why did I come to work today? I really didn’t want to, but I didn’t want to stay at home either. James said he was sure that Andrew would understand me needing to take a day or two off, but I didn’t want to seem needy. I hated to seem needy or as though this affected me as much as it did.
After the way I reacted last night—the cutting—I knew James was hesitant to let me out of his sight today. I assured him that I was okay. I reacted terribly and reverted to my high school days, when I didn’t have anyone to rely on. I’d get so lonely even though I was one of the most popular kids. I often found myself in a hole of depression or silently cutting myself in the shower. I couldn’t help but think of how different things might have been if I’d had a dad to reach out to.
Suddenly, I thought about Eli and Sebastian and pictured myself on the floor of a cold, dark, windowless room. I’d lost track of so much time there.
Yeah, things would have been different. But I also might not have met James. Out of all the feelings and thoughts I’d had since last night, the thought of being without James was the worst. I reached for my cell phone from the charging tray and quickly opened my text string with James.
I made it to work. I love you.
I love you too, pup. Have a good day. And if you need to go home, please tell Andrew. He’ll understand. Don’t force yourself to be there. Needing some time isn’t a sign of weakness.
I smiled because I could hear his voice saying those words to me.
I’ll take it easy and text you in a little while. I love you.
As soon as I hit send, another car pulled into the spot directly in front of me. I glanced up and saw that it was Salem. Wearing her vivid purple sunglasses to match the purple streak in her hair, she smiled brightly and waved in my direction. Thank God she was here today. If there was anyone who could take my mind off things it would be her.
It looked like she was texting, most likely letting Garrett know she arrived at work. I’d never thought anyone could be like James in that “text when you arrive and before you leave” type of way, but Garrett took the cake. He was also an FBI agent, so I suppose I’d be surprised if he wasn’t like James.
My cell phone vibrated with an incoming text and I looked down at it. I frowned when I saw it was from Salem.
Hey, Bran. James talked to Garrett this morning and mentioned what happened last night. You know you can talk to me about it if you want, but I’m also not going to push. I know you’re a lot like me and don’t like to bring things up even if they’re on the tip of your tongue. I’m here for you, and that’s all I’ll say about it today.
The endof her text had an emoji of a tree. I shook my head and burst out laughing. Whenever we texted one another, we always ended with a random emoji. Today I got the tree. Unless it was meant as a family tree? I thought about that for a moment as both of us got out of our cars. I walked toward her car when she waved me over.
