It didn’t surprise me that his reply came moments after I sent mine.
Russell: I’m glad you’re inside where it’s warm. What did you order?
Ryan: A medium pepperoni.
Russell: That should hold you over until you get back. Are you sitting away from the door where it’s warmer?
Ryan: Yep. I’m actually sitting in the same spot we sat in the first time you brought me here.
Russell: Good boy. Is your beanie still on?
Ryan: Yes. I’ll send you pictures of the cards I got for Kim, April, and your parents.
Russell: I’ll be right here.
After I sent him the pictures, I started right away on the cards for the girls and then his parents. I left the two for the girls unsealed so I could slip the photo in.
Lily and Stanley,
It’s been wonderful spending the holidays with you. Your son means everything to me. Thank you for being so welcoming and inviting toward me. I’ve loved making cookies and helping you guys out. Merry Christmas!
With Love,
Ryan
I stared at it for a moment to make sure it was okay. After I ate my third slice of pizza, I decided I was good with everything I wrote and sealed up their card. While I worked on the fourth and fifth slices of pizza, I typed on my phone what I wanted to write in Russell’s card. Since I couldn’t just get a fresh sheet of paper to start over with if I messed up, I had to make sure I had everything all planned out and the space taken into consideration. I planned on writing my poem of sorts to him on the part of the card under the filmy, almost see-through sheet that said, “Warmest Holiday Wishes.” I made sure my hands were clean again and picked up the pen to write.
Russell,
Thank you for taking me on this trip with you. I’ve loved every second of being with you. Merry Christmas.
Love,
Ryan.
I ate another piece of pizza before I dove into the other part. Once I was sure my hands were clean again, I started writing my heartfelt message.
Antidote
For many years of my life, facing the day brought great uncertainty and fear. I didn’t know what the day would hold. A constant pain resided in my stomach. I woke up, and it was there. I went to bed, and it was there.
Then the fear subsided. Had it truly gone away? No. But I was able to push it down and move through life. Numb? Probably. I was functioning, though. At times very well, while other times, not so great. Even though I was moving through life okay, the pain in my stomach remained.
Then, somehow, everything changed. I thought I’d gained a friend, but I gained much more.
Everything was coming back to me.
Everything I had pushed away and ignored started uprooting from the depths of my soul.
The stomach pain was no longer a dull ache but an enormous fire that was fueled by something unknown.
You smashed through my only defenses. It wasn’t fair. I couldn’t compete with you. You were always two steps ahead of me.
Then you touched me.
Waves of shock barreled through me, and suddenly the roaring pain I had known forever seemed to settle down.
You pulled me from the fire and the demon’s grip.
You brushed all the demon’s residue off of me and made me feel not so bad.
You made the pain go away and filled me with something I had truly never felt before.
Love.
You are my air… My life … My heart.
You are my antidote for everything.
I sat backand read over it a few times. I tucked it inside the envelope and sealed it up. It was perfect. Russell would love this.
