12
Ryan
“What time are the guests arriving for dinner?” I quietly asked Russell from the entryway while we zipped up our coats. Russell and I had been tasked with finishing putting the string of Christmas lights up along the porch, along with shoveling the snow off the walkway.
“They’ll start arriving around four,” he said as he pulled the fleece ear-band down over his ears.
When I reached for the door, he prevented me from opening it. He pressed his lips against mine and brushed his thumb down my freshly shaven jaw.
“Tell me the moment you feel cold. We’ll take a break and come inside to warm up.”
“I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ll be moving around and will keep warm.”
Russell picked up my beanie from the table by the door, and he pulled it down over my ears. I put my gloves on when he handed them to me. Russell smiled at my comments and patted the back of my neck with his gloved hand.
“Ryan and I will be out front working for a bit. Holler if you need anything,” Russell called out to his parents. They were in the dining room talking about where people were going to sit.
“Do you know all the people coming to dinner?” I asked once we were out on the porch.
“I do. A few aunts and uncles, their kids—who are close to my age—and their kids.”
“So your cousins are married?” I asked as I climbed the ladder to begin setting the light string in the plastic hook.
“Yes. At least, I think they still are. I don’t have much contact with them.”
Fuck. Why hadn’t I thought of this before?
His cousins all had families. As I stood on the ladder, I thought about that shelf in his parents’ hobby room.
Had they been disappointed when Russell hadn’t married and given them grandkids? Or worse, were they disappointed to find out that when Russell had finally found someone to bring home, it was a guy?
Not just any guy, but a guy from a trashy family.
They didn’t seem bothered by the guy thing. I thought that if his mom was really put off by me, she wouldn’t have baked cookies with me yesterday. They most likely wouldn’t have a shelf with my books or the baseball cap figurine.
While I hung the lights, Russell held the ladder still. He watched me like a hawk on it, as if I were a kid climbing up a huge ladder. Russell and I talked about dinner and the guests who would be coming over later. I hoped I would survive it. Speaking of surviving …
“I need to call my mom later on,” I said while Russell plugged in the lights to the other string we were going to wrap around the porch. “It’s Thanksgiving,” I added.
I hadn’t said that part as if he hadn’t known what today was, but more of a way to explain why I needed to call her. Russell came over and stood in front of me and searched my eyes.
“Ryan—”
“I know it’s stupid, but I need to try. She’s all alone there. I mean, she has some other retiree friends. But my dad is gone, my brother is in prison—”
“Ryan, they hurt you.” I looked away and focused on the snow-covered ground beyond his SUV. “You don’t owe her anything, my boy.” He clasped his hand down on my shoulder, pulling my eyes away from the white-covered land.
“I know I don’t. But I still feel like I need to try.”
A few awkward moments passed with neither of us saying anything. I moved away from him and picked up the string of lights from the ground. I began to wrap the lights around the wood railing of the porch, but I hadn’t made it very far before Russell stood in front of my path. I slumped and leaned my left hip against the railing while staring at Russell’s chest. He wrapped his hands around the top of the railing on either side of me, forcing me between his hands.
“Ryan, I love you, and I don’t want to see you get hurt. It’s Thanksgiving, and I want you to have a good day.”
“I am having a good day. All I said was that I needed to try to call my mom later. I have a mom too, you know.”
Russell’s mouth formed a tight line, and I was sure he found my statement about having a mom to be a debatable one. I wasn’t going to argue with him or make this awkward. I glanced over his shoulder to make sure the door was still closed and there weren’t any onlookers. When I was sure we were alone, I leaned forward and quickly kissed his lips.
“I’m sorry. I won’t let her ruin our day,” I whispered against his lips.
