“Would you like to help me bake some cookies to go with the desserts for tomorrow?”
Lily moved the large mixer from one counter to the island before going to the fridge.
“Cookies?”
“Yes, we’ll make a few different kinds. Stanley loves to have cookies with his coffee.”
“I’m not a baker. I’ve never made cookies before.”
She eyed me for a moment with a gentle smile. Just by her smile and sympathetic eyes, I could tell she understood my mom wasn’t the motherly kind. I was afraid she was going to bring something up about my mom. And while whatever she wanted to say or was thinking was probably true and warranted, I couldn’t hear anything about what a terrible mother my mom was. I already knew this.
“I’ve made the ones in the yellow package,” I offered. “They’re the kind you break off into little squares. Though, now that I think about it, I wonder how squares become circle cookies in the oven.”
I tapped my index finger on the countertop as I seriously pondered the science behind the square-shaped cookie dough.
“Well, today is your day. We’re going to make cookies from scratch,” she said with a smile.
“From scratch? Like with the cookie dough?”
“We’re going to make the cookie dough. Let’s make some oatmeal raisin first.”
“Okay! I’m ready!” I hurried to the sink and washed my hands.
Lily began putting ingredients in my hands from the pantry, and when we returned to the kitchen island, she went to get measuring spoons and cups. She put the container of raisins in front of me and told me to fill up the cup.
“Oatmeal raisin are my favorite cookies,” I volunteered. I pulled a few raisins out of the container and ate them.
“I know. Russell said that you have quite the sweet tooth.”
Lily poured ingredients into the bowl and chatted with me about Russell as she worked on the cookies. I stole a few raisins from the cup I had measured out.
“Russell loved cookies as a boy, and each Monday after school we’d make a batch.”
I ate a few more raisins as she shared her memories of making cookies with Russell after school.Of course, this is what many moms do.
“He always wanted walnut chocolate chip.” Lily smiled and shook her head. I ate a few more raisins.
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me. I can see Russell as a little kid begging for walnut chocolate chip cookies. It seems like a Russell type of cookie.” I tossed a few more raisins into my mouth.
“We’ll make some walnut chocolate chip next.”
“Okay, sounds good.”
I was having a great time. Granted, Russell had made cookies from scratch at home and I’d watched, but this was different. It was kind of a mom type of scenario.
“Okay, pour in the raisins,” she instructed. As I picked up the cup, she stopped me from pouring them into the mixer. “Why don’t you top off that cup of raisins,” she suggested. I looked down and was surprised to see I had eaten probably a quarter of the raisins.
“Oh! Sorry, about that,” I apologized and quickly filled the cup to the brim.
“No need to apologize. Half the fun is nibbling here and there.”
I had a cookie sheet in front of me and she had one in front of her. I watched her put a spoonful of cookie dough onto the cookie sheet a few times before I attempted it. She had the whole sheet full of cookies when I barely had half the sheet full.
While the cookies baked, I sat at the kitchen table with Lily and showed her the pictures of our drive across country. From the way she smiled and asked questions about our trip, I could tell she enjoyed being able to see the pictures. She loved the one of Russell and me by the wall of red rock at Arches. Even after we were done looking at the pictures, she asked to go back and look at that one. It did turn out to be a nice picture.
Later that night when Russell and I crawled into bed, he propped himself up on an elbow and looked at me. He set his hand over my stomach and asked me what had bothered me this morning.
“Nothing really bothered me—”
