I nodded and took my underwear and socks to the drawer he opened up for me. There was still enough room in it, so I began putting my t-shirts and folded jeans inside.
“We can hang our pants and shirts up in the closet, Ryan.” Russell opened the door next to the dresser and flipped a light on. He disappeared into the closet and quickly came out with a handful of hangers and set them on top of the dresser.
“I can just put my suitcase in the closet and get stuff out of it as I need,” I whispered.
“You’re not going to live out of a suitcase for a month, Ryan.”
“It’s okay,” I whispered.
I wished he wouldn’t be so loud. His parents were trying to sleep. I picked my suitcase up and carried it over to the closet. I didn’t want to roll it on the floor and make more noise. Russell stood in front of the doorway to the closet and effortlessly took my suitcase.
“You’renotliving out of a suitcase that’s tucked in the back of a closet.” He set my suitcase down beside him. “You are welcome here, and you’re not an afterthought.” Russell took off the ring that I gave him and held it up for me to see. “Tell me what is engraved inside this ring, Ryan.”
I didn’t have to look at the ring. I knew what was engraved inside. I knew the exact placement of the ring and where the word rested against his finger. I had memorized the cursive font.
“Everything,” I whispered.
“That’s what you mean to me too. Everything. And you’re not hiding from me or my parents as if we don’t want you around. This is your home too, Ryan.” He stepped toward me and kissed my forehead. “And you don’t have to whisper or be afraid to be seen.”
“But they’re trying to sleep.”
“Ryan, we’re just talking. It’s not like we’re jumping up and down on the floor above their room. They want us here. Both of us. Please believe me. Did they give you any indication tonight that they were annoyed you were here?”
I shook my head.
“I just don’t want to make much noise or disturb them, because then they might—”
“They might what?”
“They won’t like me if I disturb them or if they think I’m being disrespectful.” I swallowed hard and looked over my shoulder to the door that was still open. “And I want them to like me. I don’t want you to be with someone your parents hate.”
“You’re not the terrible, hated person your parents beat into you. You are a delight. You’remydelight, and I love you.”
When he pulled me against him, I didn’t resist. While I calmed down, I kept my head on his shoulder and breathed in his familiar, calming scent.
“I’m going to show you over this holiday season exactly what a loving family you now belong to, Ryan.” He kissed my head and gave my body one more squeeze before we pulled apart. “Let’s put our clothes away and get ready for bed. Do you want to take a shower?”
When I tried to get away with nodding as my answer, he took hold of my jaw.
“No. You’re past that time in your life where you silently answer. You haven’t given me nonverbal answers in a long time, and I’m not going to allow you to go backward.”
What was wrong with me?
“Yes, please. I’d like to take a shower before bed.”
Russell smiled, which made me feel better. I needed to loosen up. Russell put some clean boxers in my hand and told me to go take my shower while he unpacked our suitcases. When I offered to help, he pointed to the bathroom. Before I stepped into the shower, I pulled the bear claw Cracker Jack tattoo out of my wallet and set it on the bathroom counter. I’d put it on after the shower and make Russell laugh. I used the time in the shower to remind myself that Russell loved me, and his parents had no reason to hate me. They wanted the same thing I did: for Russell to be happy.
