4
Ryan
While a college football game played in the background, I sat beside Russell and texted April and Kim. Russell’s friend Nick was over to watch the game of their old college football team take on a division rival. Normally, I’d be extremely involved in watching the game and dissecting the plays. But given the news of us traveling to his childhood home later in the week, I was stressed and needed to “talk” and voice my worries.
The girls were talking about their upcoming plans for Thanksgiving; both of them were cooking and having their immediate and extended families over. When they asked me what I was doing, it was the perfect lead in for my brain to barf out everything.
Ryan: Russell wants to take me to meet his parents and family.
Kim: Oh my God, Ryan! That’s so awesome!
April: That’s going to be an amazing trip, Ry-guy.
Kim: So you’re going to stay with them at his home that he grew up in?
April: Better hope those floorboards don’t creak when you’re rocking in bed.
Kim: Oh my God, April! Yes! Make a memory in Russell’s childhood home.
April: Is his mom cooking?
Kim: Are they having a bunch of people over?
April: Is Russell going to help? Are you going to help?
Kim: No, Ryan! Do not offer to help in the kitchen. Offer to help with other useful things, but stay out of that woman’s way. She raised a perfect man, and I bet she has a perfect home.
April: Good thinking, Kim. Stay out of that woman’s kitchen, Ryan. Offer to do something helpful, yet out of the way.
Ryan: Like, offer to set the table?
Kim: God no, Ryan!
April: The table is the presentation of all of her hard work. And you better believe that Mother Russell Moore will already have visions of how she wants her Thanksgiving table to be. Stay away from her table.
Kim: You offer to bring in chairs or carry in a table leaf, but stay away from setting the table.
Ryan: What the fuck is a table leaf?
April: Seriously, Ry?
Kim: Ryan, you’re not a child.
I rolled my eyes. I was sure everyone didn’t know what the fuck a table leaf was. I decided to test the table knowledge with Russell and Nick.
“What’s a table leaf?” I asked them.
“It’s a piece that extends the length of the table,” Nick said.
“Some just connect to the end, but others are placed in the center of the table. The ends of the table slide away, leaving an opening in the center. Depending upon how big you want the table, you can usually put one or two table extensions in,” Russell explained.
I nodded.Of course they just had to know this.I went back to the text conversation.
Ryan: Got it. I’m allowed to help with manual labor tasks.
Kim: Precisely.
April: Show off your muscles. She’ll probably be giddy with excitement to have a young man in the house to help.
