“Yes, I do want to tell you about it. I want to tell you all about it. But can I ask a favor first?”
“Of course, Brandon.”
“Can you t-take me h-home?”
My voice shook when I spoke, and my eyes felt watery. I blinked, and more fucking tears fell.What the fuck?I quickly wiped them away, and when I tried to speak again, I felt like I couldn’t get enough air.
“I w-want to go h-home,” I sobbed uncontrollably. “I want to b-be with y-you.”
“Try to relax, Brandon. I want to be with you too, and I will take you home with me. I promise, pup.” James flattened his palm against my chest, which calmed me a little.
I really didn’t understand why all of a sudden that I was having this panic attack about him possibly leaving me. The thought that he came here just to fuck me and then would leave me wasn’t rational at all, but it was a very real fear and a possibility to me.
“Please don’t leave me,” I pleaded.
“I’m not leaving you, Brandon. You’re coming home with me. In fact, we can leave soon.”
I nodded and tried to scoot out of his arms to the edge of the bed. I wanted to go right fucking now, but James tightened his grip on me.
“Relax, pup. Sit still with me for a few minutes because I want to help calm you down. I want to explain what is happening.”
What’s happening?
“Remember how we’d been discussing emotional aspects to some types of kink play?” he asked me while he rubbed his hand over my chest. I nodded and tried to remain calm to let him speak. “Remember what I told you about sub-space?”
“Pain turns into pleasure, basically.”
“I believe you may have dipped your toes in that today.”
Had I?
“Remember what I said about sub-drop?”
“Yeah, it’s the crash, or the coming down from the excitement due to the pleasure.” I waited for him to speak again, but when he hadn’t right away, it dawned on me. “Oh.”
“It’s very normal, Brandon. Things are okay. Trust me, pup. I wouldn’t steer you down the wrong path; I promise.”
I knew he wouldn’t send me down the wrong path. Eager to go home, I kept my eyes on the blue glowing numbers on the digital clock beside the bed. It was so comfortable in his arms that I even rested against him with my eyes closed. James patted my chest, and I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. We had sat together quietly for about thirty minutes.
“Are you about ready to go home, Brandon?”
“Yes, I’m ready.”
“We’ll get dressed, get you checked out, and go home.”
I nodded and quietly got dressed. James set my underwear, jeans, and t-shirt on the bed, and we both got dressed. After I got my socks on and tied my shoes, I noticed how heavy my clothes felt. I couldn’t wait to get home and out of them. As soon as he was dressed, he walked to me and grasped my shoulder.
“Ready, pup?”
“I’m ready,” I replied.
We passed by the bathroom on our way out of the room. He turned and asked me if I needed anything out of the bathroom. Reaching in, I flipped on the light and looked inside. The sewing kit was strewn across the vanity, ready for my use. I stepped into the bathroom, picked up the safety pins and needles, put them in the small beige envelope and then dropped it in the trash.
James’ eyes were on me when I walked out of the bathroom. I knew he saw me gather the destructive pieces of metal and throw them away. He smiled and held the key card to the room in his hand.
“Do you have your wallet?” James asked. He reached around and playfully swatted my ass and gripped the outline of my wallet.
“I have it.” I laughed.
