“I had been keeping your cell phone close in case you tried reaching out on it. This morning as I was getting out of the shower, an alert came over about an ATM withdrawal. The alert was detailed about the location of the ATM machine. I went to the concierge desk and fed them the story that I was meeting someone here and asked that they ring your room. I did that to make sure you really were here. Of course, you weren’t in the room, so I walked around the lobby and glanced in the restaurants. I finally spotted you eating breakfast by the window.”
James tugged me closer to him and kissed my ear. He gripped my left thigh, pulled it back toward him and left it propped on top of his leg. He tapped the spot on my skin next to the cut I made last night.Oh shit.
“What did you use to make this cut?” he asked.
I could feel the heat spreading across my face, and I was almost sure that he could feel it against my ear that his lips were pressed against.
“I used a safety pin from the sewing kit in the bathroom,” I confessed.
James kissed my ear again.
“Did you cut because you were scared?”
“No. Not really,” I replied and then took a deep breath.
“Relax, Brandon. I’m not mad at you. I want to talk to you and try to understand.”
“I know. I felt really bad when I got here last night. I was angry with myself for leaving like I had, and I was mad at myself for not trying to stay and talk. I was mad for doing something that might have cost me … us. I ached inside, and I wanted that pain gone.”
“Did you do it in the shower?”
“Yes.”
“Did you keep your head clear of the water spray?”
He knew that there was a good chance that I would have tried to punish myself by letting the water hit me in the head and face. Even though I was in his arms, I pictured myself on the board at Sebastian’s. Suddenly, I couldn’t find my voice and shook my head to answer his question. I felt James take a deep breath, and then he kissed my cheek.
“I’m sorry that you were alone last night to deal with those feelings, pup.”
“It was my fault. I was the one who left. I felt terrible being away from you last night, and I knew that I had made a mistake. When I got into bed, I still said ‘ohana, James.’”
“I said ‘ohana’ as well, Brandon. The bed was cold without you last night, and I hardly slept any.”
“I tossed and turned too. But don’t worry, James, I’m not going to run anymore,” I promised.
“Good, Brandon. I missed you terribly.”
“No more running,” I repeated my promise.
“Now, tell me what you did yesterday after you disappeared,” he requested.
“I ran. I caught the bus and rode around for hours.”
“You weren’t out wandering the streets?”
“No. I got on a bus within ten minutes of leaving your house.”
“Ourhouse, Brandon,” James corrected me.
“Ourhouse,” I repeated. “I rode around and ended up getting off the bus downtown. I spotted The Ritz and thought it was a safe place to stay. I remembered that my mom always spoke highly of The Ritz. She used to attend parties or photoshoots here.”
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t wander the streets in the damp evening air. You were smart to come here. Did you have anything to eat last night?”
“I had some munchies out of the mini bar,” I admitted.
“I supposed that’s something. I’m glad you didn’t go to bed hungry. I worried you were somewhere on the streets. Alison and I drove around for hours.”
“Alison helped you look for me?”
