“She never told me. Why … why are you telling me this?”
“Your mother is very embarrassed by what she did. She was young and trying to break into the modeling industry. Many models abuse drugs to stay rail thin. My point in telling you that is so you understand that your reactions to certain things and some behaviors aren’t necessarily under your control. But if she hadn’t wanted you, Brandon, she could have given you up.”
It was somewhat of a relief to hear him say that if she didn’t want me, she would have gotten rid of me. Maybe she did want me. She just had a weird way of showing it.
“She provided a nice house and stuff for me.”
“She’s done an excellent job at providing a house for you. She’s provided you with clothes, food, probably every gadget that’s available. But she hasn’t provided you with some of the basic emotional needs. I know that simply from talking with you for the past five weeks. She chose to do something while pregnant with you that would always affect you. The most unfortunate part about that, though, is that she hasn’t tried to give you the emotional support and care that not only every child needs, but especially one born under such a delicate situation.”
“I snapped at her earlier on the phone when she told me she had a social event to go to tonight. She’s hardly around.”
“Is another Lunchable in your plans for dinner?”
I laughed a little at his joke because I remembered him commenting about that post way back when I made it.
“She said she’d leave money on the counter for me to order something.”
“Any idea what you’re going to order?”
“She requested that I don’t order pizza because it’ll mess up my skin.”
Elijah looked at me as if he thought my mom was full of shit. We both smirked and then broke out laughing.
“The weather is terrible out there. You’re very shaken, and to be honest, I don’t want you driving home right away. I’m going to order us a pizza to be delivered here, and I’ll phone your mother to let her know you will be here with me for a while longer. It’ll give you a chance to warm up, relax, and eat something substantial. Okay?”
“Okay, yeah, that sounds great.”
“What kind of pizza do you like?”
“Pepperoni. Anything but onions.”
Elijah ordered a pepperoni pizza and a two-liter of Coke, then he called my mom. I sat quietly and listened as he spoke with her. She almost seemed relieved that she didn’t have to worry about hurrying home for me. I didn’t plan on seeing her until tomorrow.
“There. That’s handled,” he said.
“I won’t see her until tomorrow. She’ll come home late and bring home a guest.”
“Is it common for her to bring people home?”
“Yes, she brings guys and women home.”
“What are your thoughts on that? Does it bother you?”
“Her bringing women and men? No, I don’t care about that. I just kind of wish she’d date a regular guy. Maybe they’d hit it off, and he could move in or something. As long as he wasn’t a dick, I’d like to have a guy around.”
“Have you ever had a positive male role model in your life?”
“No, not yet. I tell kids at school my dad is in the military and overseas. Most of the kids at school have two parents, even if they don’t live with them.”
“You missed out on having your dad around to do stuff with you and teach you things.”
“Yeah. But I’d be okay if she’d just settle down with some guy. I see some of the guys a few times, and then they don’t come back.”
“Do you know who your father is?”
“No. On my birth certificate, the father’s info is blank. I don’t know who he is. But I tell myself he’s a great man and well respected. He also likes sports. And traveling.”
“Does it make you feel better to have conjured up your dad?”
