Each stride to the bathroom pulled just enough at the muscle to remind me how banged up I was. I had never endured a paddling like that, or any impact play for that matter. Though I had enjoyed aspects of it, I began to question why.
Why had I been turned on by being hurt so badly that I had to force myself to say the safe word?
The aspect of having lost control over being able to stop the paddling had also left me excited. Her decision to ignore my safe word both excited me and concerned me.
I gripped the sides of the bathroom counter and tilted my head to the side so I could see the mark she had left on my cheek. I had a small cut on my left cheek where her ring had cut into my skin.
I felt angry when I saw the mark. I specifically put on the comments section of our contract that I didn’t want marks or bruises to my face so that I could go to work and not have any questions asked. But now I was facing that exact scenario. Elise chose to ignore my request in our contract.
That wasn’t the only thing she had ignored. Ignoring safe words was something that clearly wasn’t acceptable. I knew this. James had taught me that on day one. I knew that if she had done this in Club Oxygen, she would have been banned right then and there. That was a danger for members and wasn’t tolerated.
As I pressed a cold washcloth against the cut on my cheek, I thought about how dangerous it would have been for Brandon to have negotiated anything with Elise on his own. Especially since he was just re-entering society and had been brainwashed, he wouldn’t have questioned her tactics much or ethics on safe and healthy play. She would harm Brandon without him understanding what was happening. Thankfully, I knew what was happening.
I was certain that I did.
Elise was still very sad and angry over the loss of Jacob. She needed to release her feelings of anger by inflicting pain. It was a dangerous dance of the minds and bodies. I knew from my own experience of loss that that is where I found my need to receive pain. Elise was the same. Through her loss of Jacob, she discovered that inflicting pain relieved her own pain.
I knew that I needed to be careful and cognizant of what was going on so neither of us ended up hurt. I set the washcloth down on the counter and took a step back. I turned my body and then looked over my shoulder as my ass.
“Holy fucking shit,” I said under my breath.
I felt a little uneasy now that I saw what she had done today. I hadn’t been healed up yet from all the other times…which set off a whole other warning bell. The repetitive beatings had left me bruised, but what she had done today, made my ass completely battered. I was able to look past the ugly damage she had left on my skin and reminded myself that she was new to the topping side.
“She should know that when a safe word is spoken, it all stops,” I whispered to my reflection in the mirror.
My heart began to race as I touched a painful welt. Fuck. If I left these welts untreated, they could open and get infected. Then I’d have another problem on my hands. I raced to Elise’s bathroom and opened the cabinet doors under the sink. I looked around for some aloe or a medicated lotion. When I didn’t see anything under the sink in the cabinets, I quickly opened drawers and looked around, but I couldn’t find anything that I was looking for.
“Fuck,” I murmured.
I decided that I was going to go to Club Oxygen and get the lotion I had there in my locker. While I couldn’t bring it back here, I could put some on, which might literally save my ass. I called work and told them that I was feeling under the weather and wouldn’t be able to make it in. As I hurried out of the room, my arm bumped the handle of the crop that was sitting on the dresser.
“Dammit,” I swore as I carefully bent down to pick it up. I could feel skin pulling around the welts. I desperately needed the lotion.
In my hands, I examined the crop closer before putting it back on the dresser. The leather tongue was in dire need of some conditioning. It was cracked in a few areas, but I thought it would come out of it with a cleaning and some leather conditioner. The shaft of the crop seemed to be in good condition and free of cracks, though there were some places where the paint was chipped. The leather-wrapped handle was in the worst condition, followed by the thin, stretched leather wrist strap. The wrist strap showed a lot of use and looked like it had maybe been replaced at one time, ages ago.
Elise loves using the crop, but this one was starting to really show its age. I bet James could repair the crop. Or if he couldn’t, I was willing to bet that he knew someone who could. It’s probably been a long time since someone had done something nice for her. This would make her smile, and she’d see that I cared for her. It would also show her that I wasn’t holding a grudge, nor was I angry about her ignoring my safe word. I was slightly concerned about that, but not pissed to where I was holding a grudge.
I took the crop to the garage with me and hurried to get dressed. I made sure to wear the uniform as if I were going to work. My plan was to go to the club, get some first aid care for my ass, and maybe sit down and have a drink.
My mind was all over the place as I drove to Club Oxygen. I was eager to do something nice for Elise, but the closer I got to the club, more of those warning bells began to ring louder in my head.
“She’s new to the topping side,” I told myself out loud as I parked.
Despite the pain in my butt and lower back, I walked as normally as possible into the club and checked in at the registration desk.
“Hi Andrew,” Ali greeted me from behind the desk. Occasionally Ali helped out at the front desk a few evenings during the week.
“Hey Ali,” I said and carefully set the crop on the counter.
“Are you playing this evening, Andrew?” she asked me and glanced at the crop.
I shook my head and thought of my burning ass that was covered in welts from days ago.
“No, I came to see Master James. I was hoping he’d be able to repair this crop or know someone who specializes in the craft,” I explained.
“You know how he is. He has lots of people in his pocket. He’s inside with Brandon.”
“Are they having a session?” I asked.
