Claire quickly stood and caught the attention of the server before she walked away.
“Miss, would you mind taking a picture of me and my little brother with my cell phone, please?”
Claire handed the server her phone and pranced over to me. She flung her arms around me and pinched my cheek as the server took the picture. The server and Claire looked at the picture and commented about how I wasn’t smiling in it.
“Take one more of me and my little brother. This time, please smile, Ryan,” Claire pretended as though I have been known not to smile in our fake family. “Oh, and then I need to turn in my customer service card.”
I knew she added that on purpose just to get me to smile. Fucking bitch. I forced a closed mouth smile to be done with this shit. When Claire got her phone back, she grinned at the picture and commented about me being adorable.
“Thank you for lunch, Ryan. Now, don’t let me down. Do the right thing and walk away from Russell. Let him obtain someone worthy of sharing his bed have a chance at it,” Claire said with a fake smile and slapped my chest as she walked by to pick up her purse.
I turned and watched her gather her purse and was compelled to throw anything back at her that I could.
“I’ve already been there,” I said nonchalantly.
“I’m sorry? Say again?”
“His bed.”
“Your little bed doesn’t count, nor do dirty motel rooms, or fuck rooms at parties.”
“I meant, his bed in his room.”
“You’re mistaken. Russell doesn’t let anyone in there. Russell doesn’t fuck anyone in his bed.”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“It’s a really comfortable bed,” I smugly added and then turned to leave.
I headed to the elevators and waited until I was inside with the door closed before I pulled out my cell phone. Three missed calls and several texts. I took a deep breath and just needed to gather my thoughts for a few minutes before I tried explaining any of it to him.
I went to the men’s room and closed the door to a stall. I needed to think for a minute. Claire is such a fucking bitch, but I couldn’t help but think that she was right about some of the things she said.
I wasn’t a kept man. I earned what I had. I provide for myself and that’s the way it’s going to stay.
I felt more nauseated with each passing second. Was Russell really settling for me until someone better came along? Though, I guess he doesn’t have to wait very long for someone better since she’s here. The thought instantly sickened me to the point of throwing up.
“Fuck,” I said under my breath after I heaved up the last contents in my stomach.
Was I worthy of him?
Maybe I am now, but for how long? I knew that I needed to get a text to Russell because he had been expecting me to call during lunch. I didn’t want him to worry, but my time was up now, and I had to return to my desk. I pressed a damp paper towel over my face for a moment before leaving the men’s room. I began my text on my way back to my desk.
Ryan: I’m sorry, something came up during lunch and I couldn’t break free. I have to head back to my desk now, but I didn’t want you to worry.
I began typing another text and stared at for a moment.
Ryan: Am I just someone to pass your time with until someone better comes along?
I think deep down I knew that wasn’t accurate, but part of me needed to see his response to it. I was afraid to send it and deleted it, only to retype it and then delete it again.
