“I never doubted that for a minute. I know you are, thank you.” I took another sip from my glass. “There’s absolutely nothing that he could write or tell me that would make me stop loving him. There have been things that have shattered my heart with sadness and filled me with rage over what has happened. But there’s nothing he could ever write that would make me love him anyless.”
“I know that,Russell.”
“It won’t make me treat him differently, either. The embraces may linger longer immediately after I read his dream journal. Nick, I know his past it littered with trauma, but I will do my best to turn some bad experiences into pleasurable ones. He’s not broken. He was led down a road no child should ever have towalk.”
“His fears and reactions to certain things are a product of a lack of love and affection. You still doing the weekly t-shirt thing withhim?”
“Of course. I wear each one for a few hours in the morning after I take ashower.”
Nick had been aware of the t-shirts and supported the idea behind it. After lunch, we walked around and did some more Christmas shopping and continued talking aboutRyan.
“Has the sex talk come up?” Nickinquired.
“I don’t get fulfillment from sex, you knowthat.”
“I do. But I also know that you like to haveit.”
I remained quiet for a few steps and thought of Ryan under me. I pushed it out of my head the second the visual hit mygroin.
“I love having sex, yes. But you know as well as I do that the deep, emotional stuff doesn’t come from a good fuck. Ryan more than satisfies me and I’m working on showing him that. With regards to sex, I believe he will get there. I truly do. He’s already placed his trust in me, and I’ll do all that I can to ensure it’s a good experience for him. If, and when, that time comes. He’s scared of the pain, but I’ll help himrelax.”
“You’re also into some kinky as fuck stuff.” I shrugged. “You like humiliation play and medical play. Sometimes at the sametime.”
“Ryan is nowhere ready for that. And it’s fine with me if he’s never ready for that.” I stopped walking and looked at Nick. “I love him. All I want to do is show him that I lovehim.”
Nick thumped my upper arm andsmiled.
“I know you love him. He’s going to make you very happy. I know how you nurture hurtsouls.”
Nick had been at the perfume counter when I went upstairs to the men’s underwear section. I picked up a few more undershirts to ensure I had plenty on hand for Ryan. I spotted some boxer briefs hanging on an end cap and thought of Ryan. I thumbed through and found a few largesizes.
“Need new underwear?” Nick asked as heapproached.
“Not for me.” I continued to pull some off the rack. “My boy could use some trunks to accentuate hisgoods.”
Nick leaned on the pillar that was beside the rack I was rummaging on. I put a few pair in his hands to hold since he was just standingthere.
“Ryan’s taste in underwear needs to beelevated.”
“What’s wrong with what he wearing? I’m assuming he’s not goingcommando.”
“Well, for starters, the fabric. He’s wearing cheap cotton. But that’s the least of my mainissue.”
“What is your mainissue?”
“He wears the wrong size. That body is hidden. The leg bands aren’t even flush against his thighs. You haven’t seen them, but believe me, his thighs are muscular. Incredible lines,” I marveled while checking tags for the large-sized ones in variouscolors.
“So, if the legs aren’tsnug—”
“Then the rest of it isn’t,” I finished Nick’ssentence.
“I see,” Nick laughed and joked with me about it. “So, really, you’re looking for the snug, body-hugging material. You want to see his ass andbulge.”
“Indeed.” I handed him two more pair. “I’m glad you find humor in his underwearchoices.”
Nick tilted his head back andlaughed.
“He could be trying to impress you and please yourtastes.”
