Chapter Fourteen
Ryan
Afew daysafter that heavy session with Russell, I was back on his patio having dinner with him. He had requested that I bring him my dream journal, though it was more like a nightmare book. I hadn’t slept well for that past few nights. Actually, not since the night I got back and he gave me thatbeating.
“Can you beat me again?” I askedhim.
“Ryan—”
“Please. I need it. I can’tsleep.”
I hated to sound desperate, but I neededit.
“Take your shirt off. Let me see yourback.”
I pulled my t-shirt off and stood. Russell walked behind me and touched a few places on my back. There was one spot that he touched that was still really fucking sore. He gave my lower back a pat and told me to put my shirt back on. He sat back down and looked across the table at me as if he was contemplating myrequest.
“I know you’ve seen what your back looks like. You have some dark bruises still andredness.”
“What about the lower back?” Icountered.
He tilted his head to the side and stared at me with an expression that silently asked if I wereserious.
“I’m not flogging your lower back. I don’t flog anyone’s lower back,” heconfirmed.
“Okay,” I sighed. We ate quietly for a few moments before he offered up something that I wasn’t sure I couldhandle.
“Ryan, I know you are aching again, but I’m not going to flog your back until it’s completely healed. But, I will offer you an impact session that would still drive you to a release.” I nodded and waited for him to tell me what it involved. “A bare-handed spankingsession.”
Spanking. Bare handed. Fuck. I never listed it as a hard limit. But…I didn’t know if I could. I started to picture myself in my dad’sden—
“Ryan, relax. I’m not going to do it now. I want you to think about it though. I know what’s in your past and I’m not going to let you make a quick decision. Before your mind starts to run away, I want you to listen tome.”
“Ok, I’mlistening.”
I looked at him as he spoke, but felt the ache in the pit of my stomach creep up on me. I was willing to listen to him. I promised him that I’d always listen and be a goodapprentice.
“Spankings from me will be very different from the ones you haveknown.”
“How?” I asked before he had the opportunity to say anythingelse.
“Instead of being alone and made to feel terrible about yourself afterward, you’d be cared for. You wouldn’t be beaten until you couldn’t sit down, or until it pained you to walk. You’d be spanked until you got your release and then cared for.” I took a sip of my water and thought about it. “This would be something that could replace some bad memories ofspankings.”
He might have been right. He probably is right. But, a bare handedspanking?
“Ryan, remember when we first started all of this, months ago?” I nodded. “Do you remember what you told me that you liked the most about the spanking videos you watch and the spanking short stories that you read?” He paused and then added, “You said you get excited and hard at the aspect ofhumiliation.”
Is that why I was always hard when my dad didit?
Russell stopped me again before my mind tookoff.
“This will give you the naughty and playful humiliation feeling, but safely. Afterward, you won’t be going off by yourself somewhere to hide. You’ll be cared for. Which is something that you haven’t had withspankings.”
“Okay, can I think about ittonight?”
“Of course,Ryan.”
When I got home, I jumped online to run all of this by April and Kim. Part of me wanted to try it, but the other part was scared shitless and worried about it. I gave the girls the quick background on what Russell offered in lieu of beingflogged.
