“Yes.”
“What stops the session?” heasked.
“Hairdryer.”
“Good,Ryan.”
He picked up the flogger and stood. As he walked by me he put his hand on my shoulder briefly. I prepared myself for the first strike, but when the falls made contact I was disappointed that it wasn’t harder. The falls hit my upper back four times and then Russell rubbed his hand roughly over the places he had hit. It made my whole back feelwarm.
The next strike was powerful and made me lurch forward.Fuck that hurt.He delivered another one just like that to my other shoulder. After another few, I raised off my heels and gripped the chain tightly. I leaned into the support that the chains and cable offered. I tried to block out everything that had crowded my head on the drive home. I had been successful until he startedtalking.
“What are you angry about,Ryan?”
What wasn’t I angryabout?
“Chad. Marie. Mymom.”
Another few strikes from the flogger had me talkingmore.
“She didn’t know who I was. She didn’t even recognize me. But she told me she had a son named Ryan whodied.”
I was so angry and rattled the chains. I had surprised myself with how good that felt. Russell spaced the contact apart now. I was certain that my back was cut and torn up, but fuck that felt good. It was warm and, in a way,comforting.
“Are you angry because she hadn’t recognized you, or angry over the fact that you died in hermemory?”
I didn’t know exactly. I tried to think. Russell’s hand was on my back, spreading the warmth. If I had been bleeding, he would have saidso.
“Ryan,” hecalled.
“I don’t know why I’m angry. I think—” I grunted as the falls thumped against me and I gripped the chains tighter. “I don’t think my dad would have cared if I had died at the train yard.” I sniffled and then shook my head. Fucking tears. I took a deep breath to push them away. I wasn’t ready yet. He had just started. The thumping continued against myback.
“Why are you carrying guilt,Ryan?”
“I LEFT HER THERE!” I yelled and let my hands slide all the way down the chain. When I let go, my wrists stayed attached to thechain.
I bawled. I sat back on my heels and kept my head down as I cried. I temporarily ignored the fact that I was hard. There’s something about these sessions that did that to me. The chains clanged when I reached to take hold of my neck. Russell put his hand on my head and appeared in front ofme.
“Ryan.”
“I’m a terrible fucking person! I left her there! My brother told her that my dad was moving in there too. She believed that my dad was still alive.” I looked up at Russell. “She believed that my death was too much for my dad and he left her and Chad out of guilt.” I sniffled again and took a deep breath. “She believed they were going to be together again. And I left her there without her understanding thetruth.”
He rubbed my back as I calmed down and got my breathing under control. I started to apologize for yelling but he stopped me. He unbuckled the leather cuffs and my arms fell back to mybody.
“Ryan, there’s no reason to feel guilty for something you can’t control. You can’t control herdisease.”
I nodded. He wasright.
“You better take care of that,” Russell gestured toward my hard-on that was slowly waving around. “Don’t wasteit.”
I smiled and wrapped my hand around mycock.
“Don’t neglect your nips,Ryan.”
I stroked my left nipple with my left thumb while my right hand worked my cock. I glanced up at Russell; he was still crouched in front of me and watched me handle myself. I closed my eyes as I felt that I was on the brink of anorgasm.
“Pinch it, Ryan.” When I pinched my nipple, the sensation moved quickly down to my groin and before I knew it I came. “Good boy,Ryan.”
I shut my eyes, but smiled as my warm cum landed on my stomach and chest. I felt like my face was cracking. The tears had all dried on my face and my smile made my face feel like the skin had been pulled. My back hurt already, but the exchange was priceless. I could breatheagain.
