“Are youcomfortable?”
“Yes,” he confidentlyreplied.
“Good.” I gave his shoulder blades a few solidslaps.
I couldn’t have been happier with his reaction to the praise and the physical touch. Combined, those created calmness in Ryan. It also made me realize exactly how deprived his mind and body had been. I quickly moved around his body and restrained his wrists andankles.
As with our first session, I checked on him after every fifteen swats and asked him a verbal question and assessed him as I rubbed over the reddened flesh. He had taken all of it well, and his back and ass were bright red by the time I decided to push him towards the cathartic release that I knew he had been seeking. I proceeded with a rougher swing and kept my eye on his face with each punishingblow.
“Mmpf,” Ryangrunted.
Come on, Ryan, letgo.
His hands had tightened up and forearms drew closer to the frame of the bench. His body hugged the bench for strength. He was close now. His fists uncurled and he clenched the wooden frame. Much closer now. Three more hard swats brought his cheek up off the frame with a brokengrunt.
Come on,Ryan!
He put his forehead down on the frame and adjusted his grip on the bench. He was pushing himself to take more, but I knew he was close.Give him something verbal to hold onto andpush.
“Good boy,Ryan.”
I delivered that with one final strike and it worked like magic. His shoulders moved up and down in a rhythm that was unmistakable; he was crying. Though he cried, he had tried to keep all the sound in. His sides quivered in and out, and he kept his forehead down on the bench frame. His body shook as he tried keeping it alltogether.
When I put my hands on his upper back and shoulders, I hadn’t slapped my hands down as firmly as I normally would have in this situation. While I was fulfilled in meeting this need of his, my heart ached for him. Pieces that I knocked off of his wall and fortress dangled, and now I needed to gently pull them off and patch up theplace.
“Let it out,Ryan.”
He needed the pain so he could cry. The pain, in a sense, gave him permission to cry. Though the sounds of his aching soul weren’t loud, they were audible, and that was a big step for him. I continued to rub his back and spread the warmth around as he continued to cry. My hands moved in a pattern along his skin, leaving no areas on his back, sides or upper arms untouched for verylong.
Now I was concerned with keeping him warm, because I knew that the chill would come for him if I couldn’t protect him from it. I’d always been concerned and cared for all of my partners and anyone that I had topped. But never before had I wanted to protect and provide care for someone as much as I wanted to with Ryan. Providing Ryan after care proved to be tricky, but I would find away.
I gave his head a few pats and then cupped the back of his head in a nurturing sort of way. My heart clenched when I felt him move his head against my hand. He probably wasn’t even aware that he had done it. His body was taking over for him now, and this is what it wanted and needed. He needed comfort and he trusted meunconditionally.
“Good, Ryan. Let itout.”
As his body calmed, I continued to rub his head, neck and back. His upper back was a deep shade of red already and after I released his arms and legs from the restraints, I asked him to remain still so that I could get some aloe lotion on him. This would be a catch 22; I wanted the aloe to set in and sooth his muscles, but I was also aware it would have a cooling effect on him. Which could throw him into a chilled phase and possibly speed up thedrop.
His body raised against my aloe covered hands as I applied it to his back. He needed this sort of positive touch badly. He’d been starved his wholelife.
“There you go, Ryan. This will help ease the muscleaches.”
“Okay.”
His voice sounded congested. Ryan wasn’t in a hurry to get up. The bench provided him some comfort and protection, and right now he was perfectly content where he was at. I let him stay where he was and rubbed my hand around his sides and lowerback.
“Ready to getup?”
“Yes,” he said and began to push himself up and off thebench.
Greeting us at full attention was his hard-on. His head immediately bowed and his cheeks grew brightred.
“Ryan,” I said his namefirmly.
His head snapped up and he looked atme.
“No looking down. There is no shame in your body’s reaction.Understand?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “Iunderstand.”
