“Very well. Again, thankyou.”
She knew she was free to leave when she was ready and to show herself out. I left her to give her some privacy to finish dressing. Once I was out of her sight, I picked my cell phone up from the kitchen counter and sent a text to her protector, Samuel. I let him know that her service had been impeccable and that my apprentice benefitted from her experience and skill. I also let him know that she was dressing and would be leaving my home within five minutes. That way he had a point of reference as to when she’d reachhim.
As I walked back down the hall to check on Ryan, he came out of the bathroom fully clothed. I stood in the doorway of the play room and watched him as he put on his boots. Ryan laced them quickly; every movement he had made since coming on himself had been frantic anderratic.
He wasn’t ready to leave and he needed some care. Ever since we’d started talking about his exploration into the kink world, he had been very adamant about not needing after care. I knew where that came from and would phrase it however he needed it phrased. But either way, he needed to calm down before he left thishouse.
“Perhaps you’ll join me for a bite to eat on the patio. It’s beautifulweather.”
“Yeah, that’d be cool. I’m hungry,” he said and patted hisstomach.
We spent a while outside and talked about a wide array of things. I shelved the many questions that I had for him. This wasn’t the time for that; he needed to come down a bit and I needed to reflect. He drank plenty of water and ate three small sandwiches, along withfruit.
Ryan spoke enthusiastically about our hockey team and all sports in general. I followed sports and liked to think I had a good idea about what teams were doing well, but Ryan was a stats man. The talk of sports had definitely put him at ease. Now that he had replenished some nutrients, had re-hydrated, and was relaxed, I needed to talk with him about thesession.
“What are your thoughts on thesession?”
A genuine smile crept onto his face, which forced that dimple out. His cheeks reddened, which gave away hisshyness.
“I liked it a lot,” he replied and kept his eyes on me briefly before reaching for another bottle ofwater.
Good, he’s willing to admit he enjoyed it. Dig, butcarefully.
“If you were to pick out one thing that was most memorable for you about today, what would itbe?”
I pushed the plate of cookies toward him that he had been eyeing ever since he finished his sandwiches. He smiled and grabbed a cookie then began to eat it. I was curious what he’d say would be the one thing that would stick out in his mind fromtoday.
“Can I be completely honest with you,Russell?”
“Please do, Ryan. I need you to be one hundred percent honest with me at alltimes.”
He nodded and swallowed some of his cookie.Thirty-five, I mused tomyself.
“I don’t know what it all means yet, but the thing that I can’t stop thinking about is something that I don’t understand. I liked the session and this was the first time that I’ve been hit, and liked it. I loved it,actually.”
I had been grateful that he was mature enough to know that he liked it, even if he was still at the stage of trying to figure out why. I had a strong suspicion why he liked it and what drew him to it, but he needed to try and figure that out on his own. He also needed to know that it didn’t have to mean anything other than he liked it. I didn’t want him going stir crazy as he looked everywhere for ameaning.
“It pleases me that you enjoyed it, Ryan.”Eyebrows perked up with a gleam in his eyes.“It doesn’t have to mean anything, other than you likedit.”
“It doesn’t make me weird? You know, to like it even though my parents hitme?”
“No, Ryan. It doesn’t make you weird. By not denying yourself something you found pleasure in, you’re standing up and saying that you can separate the two things. You understand the difference from what they forced upon you and what you sought out forpleasure.”
I knew that I threw a lot of deep, thought provoking tidbits at him just now, but it had been something that I wanted him to reflectupon.
“Pain,canlead to pleasure, Ryan.” I paused so he’d absorb what I was saying. “You experienced thattoday.”
He smiled and nodded at me. Pride radiated from his face as he announced his thoughts on today, “I likedit.”
“I’m glad. You were very brave today. Thank you for trusting me,Ryan.”
“Thank you for not hurting me,” he laughed and shook his head. “I mean, thank you for not really hurtingme.”
I was humbled by him. Here was a young man that struggled to extend trust. He handed it over to me, desperate forrelief.
I returned the nod for the gratitude hevoiced.
“My pleasure, Ryan. I will top youanytime.”
