I knew it wouldn’t be the end of my screenwriting, but that it would be paused so I could focus on taking a full load of classes while working fulltime.
Within ten minutes of being home, I was jacking off to Dominatrix videos and Dominants spanking their subs videos. Or maybe they were Tops spanking their bottoms. I guessed it could beeither.
I quickly went to the bathroom and cleaned my spunk off my abdomen and shirt. Because I had been in such a hurry to clean my cum off of me, I forgot to close out my porn video window, and Nikki camehome.
“Ryan!” she yelled from the livingroom.
I hurried to the living room, worried that something serious had happened. Nikki stared at the screen with her mouth wide open as a man slapped a woman’s ass with his hand. I quickly sidestepped her and closed out thescreen.
“My first question would be to ask you how old you are? You’ve almost graduated from college and you’re sitting here watching porn!” Nikki yelled. “My second question would be, what sort of sick shit are youwatching?”
“It’s nothing. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” I reached for my new class schedule under my new degree plan and showed her. “Look, I changed my major today. I have everything all mappedout.”
She forgot her anger over my sex videos and threw her arms aroundme.
“Oh, Ryan! Mom and Dad will be sohappy!”
Was it worth it? Time would tell, but for the moment they were happy, and Nikki was happy. That night, we began working on starting our family. I was reluctant to come in her, fully aware that I could make her pregnant quickly. We had discussed this being a possibility, and she was all forit.
“Come in me, Ryan,” Nikki moaned as she bounced onme.
I felt bad that I wasn’t there yet and wasn’t ready to come. I closed my eyes and tried to picture the guy spanking the woman from the video earlier. That did the trick! I unloaded deep inside her and but didn’t open my eyes until my dick stoppedspurting.
Her beautiful face was smiling down at me. We both realized that my cum was on its way to start our family. I tried to lay there as long as I could, but I had to get up and clean myself. I felt terrible about it, but I hadto.
“It’s okay, Ryan,” she said when Iapologized.
I had to stop doing this shit, and more importantly, figure out why the images of spankings were turning me on more thansex.
The next few months were really stressful between the full-time job at the MGM and a full class load. I was leaving the apartment at seven each morning and wouldn’t get home until ten at night. I’d spend some time with Nikki, and we’d eat together, then she’d go to bed while I studied for a few hours. I always woke her up with my cock and made a warm deposit before I left for work. She still hadn’t become pregnant, but she thought that it might be due to the household stress of both of us working and me going toschool.
I continued watching porn with content that I had no idea there was a following for. April and Kim would email me links and I’d watch them on the phone before I came home from school. I’d be horny as fuck all night and then bang the hell out of Nikki in the mornings. It wasn’t that I needed the videos to make me horny so that I could fuck Nikki, but I was able to come harder thatway.
Even though our relationship was going well, I still had this feeling in the back of my head that something was missing. I couldn’t help but feel like I had fucked something up and that I had failed with doing things the right way with Nikki. What was worse was that I couldn’t even put my finger on what was missing, why I felt like this, or what might have been amiss. There was just somethingoff.
How did I know? Each night I was still feeling the aches in the pit of my stomach. This kept me up for nights dwelling over whether or not something might physically be wrong with me. I had known this stomach pain for my whole life. Had I been sick all this time and neverknew?
I had been afraid to tell Nikki that my stomach had been bothering me and that I should get checked out. My biggest worry was that if something was wrong with me that Nikki’s father would find out and would deem me unworthy. It was better to nip this quietly, and if Nikki knew, her father wouldknow.
I made an appointment with a doctor and ended up seeing him three times over the course of a month. He had wanted to run various tests to see what was going on. After several tests and copays later, the doctor said that he couldn’t find anything wrong with me and I was a healthy twenty-three-year-old.
I continued to chat with Kim and April about kinky stuff that I couldn’t talk to Nikki about. I also continued my friendship with Sadie and Nick. Each time that I was around them, I started to feel more at ease and less shy when I listened to them talk about some of the parties they had beento.
I thought that maybe the thing that was missing between Nikki and me was the closeness. Sadie and Nick had that. As much as I had put it off, I realized that I had to bite the bullet and start opening up to Nikki. I’d start slow and tell her some things as I felt she could handle; and that I could handle herknowing.
One summer night, I finally sat down with her to crack open my vault. I decided to start with my dad. I was very nervous, and within sixty seconds of the conversation, I regretted having startedit.
“There’s something that I need to tell you. I mean, something that I want to tell you. Something that I haven’t been honest with you about. Or, not that I’ve lied, but I just haven’t toldyou.”
“What is it, Ryan? Does it have something to do with that weird shit I’ve seen youwatching?”
“No,” I said and felt my stomach gurgle. “I have a dad. Well, I mean, I had a dad. But he died in prison. He was sentenced to life for hurting me.” I had to add my brother so she’d know that it wasn’t just my fault for him being sent away. “And mybrother.”
She stared at me and then tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes atme.
“Are you pulling my leg?” sheasked.
“What?” I shook myhead.
