April: Did she return thefavor?
Kim: Yeah, like maybe a69?
April: 69’s arewonderful!
Ryan: No, lol. Nottonight.
Or any other night. I quickly added that it wasn’t really important to me. Really, it wasn’t. I had had enough of that to last a lifetime, and I didn’t care if I ever had itagain.
Ryan: It’sokay.
Kim: Ryan, has sheever?
Ryan: No, and it’sfine.
April: Maybe it’s something against her religion. Thou shalt not suckcock.
Kim: You need a strong woman Ry-guy. One that will give and take withoutworry.
April: ADominatrix!
Kim: Oh yeah! Write a screen play of that, Ryan. “Ryan and theDominatrix.”
I laughed out loud and sent back a message saying that I needed to get going and work on my project. Before I got offline, I googled the word, Dominatrix. I thought I had an idea, but notreally.
“A dominating woman, especially one who takes the sadistic role in sadomasochistic sexual activities,” I recited out loud from the online dictionary. “Fuck,” I adjusted my dick through my pants. I wondered why something that sounded so out there had made my dick twitch, and I wanted to readmore.
Chapter Fourteen
June2005
School wasout for the year, and I had decided to take the summer off and work full time. It would allow me to earn more money and tuck it away. I continued to get emails and voicemails from my mom and brother, and Marie was starting it up again. I ignoredeverything.
One summer day at the diner, Nikki told me about how her parents couldn’t stop talking about me, and her mom thought I was a handsome catch. I knew what she meant, but the visual in my head of moms thinking of me being cute or handsome would forever be a very warped and disturbedone.
“My parents thought it would be nice if I invited you over to dinner this weekend,” Nikki said as she chewed nervously on herpen.
“Is that so?” I teased. “Well, what about you? What do you think ofit?”
“I think I’d like it too,” she said with a bashful smile. “But,” her voice trailedoff.
“Butwhat?”
I could tell that something serious was on her mind. I tried to ease her worries; I wanted this to workout.
“Nikki, whatever it is, tell me. I’m sure things will be fine, sweetheart,” I reassuredher.
“My parents, they’re really opinionated and have usually scared off myboyfriends.”
This comment struck me funny. This woman was a few years older than I was, yet she acted like a high school girl with the way she worried so much about her parents’ opinions. Or maybe she wasn’t too worried about them intimidating me, but more so of me not being up to their standards. I wanted Nikki, and I’d do what I had to do to get into the good graces with theparents.
I reassured her twice again that dinner would be fine and I was looking forward to officially meeting them. They loved baseball, so how bad could they really be? I was determined to show that I was good enough for their princessNikki.
I got paid on Friday, and right after work, I went to one of those stores that sold new clothes but were factory seconds. For the most part, a seam may have been sewn on wrong or not up to standards. It hit me as I stood in front of a metal rack shifting through collared shirts that the similarities between me and a factory second. I was trying to look the part of a guy worthy enough of the nice label stitched into the back of theshirt.
There was a sea of shirts upon aisles and aisles of racks. Nothing was organized by color or brands, just one lone white handwritten sign that indicated what sizes were in each aisle. From the rack, I lifted out a navy Ralph Lauren Polo shirt. I had seen tourists wear these in the hotel. You’d never know an expensive department store one from the one I held in my hand unless you checked the seams, I suppose. It was less than twenty-five dollars, and it would beperfect.
I proudly wore it to dinner the next night, and as we sat down to eat, his mother commented on the shirt. But it wasn’t quite what I expected anyone to say, if they had said anything atall.
