I was hit with a little guilt about not properly telling Skyler and Dave goodbye. They had been good to me and took me in when I was desperate. I would call and talk to each of them over the next few days. They wouldunderstand.
But I didn’t dare tell my mom or brother where I was at. They fucked up my life in L.A. and humiliated me with my coaching staff at USC. I would let their emails go unanswered along with their phone calls. I was getting my life on track now. It was time I took care of myself for once, and that plan didn’t include my mom orbrother.
Chapter Thirteen
January2005
It wasa warm January day for a pre-season game, and I had just shoved the last bite of a hot dog in my mouth as the clean-up batter strolled to the plate. The Runnin’ Rebs weren’t going to be the strongest team in their division, but they weren’t going to be the weakesteither.
“Come on, hit it out of the park,” I mumbled with the partial hot dog on its way down. The Rebels were down by two, but we had two men on; one on first and one on second. It was the bottom of the ninth inning, and there were already twoouts.
The pitcher for the opposing team kept checking on the base runners looking for any indication that they were thinking of stealing. When the pitcher made his motion to commit to throwing home, he suddenly stopped and turned towards second base. I went insane in the bleachers and jumpedup.
“Balk! It’s a balk!” Iyelled.
At the exact same time, a girl that sat in the row in front of me and a few feet over was also up on her feet pointing at the pitcher and yelled, “Hebalked!”
Both of us noticed one another. She nodded and smiled at me. The umpire called the balk and the bases loaded up. The next batter struck out, handing the Rebels a loss. Gameover.
“Fuck!” I said under mybreath.
I glanced in the direction of the girl who shared my balking comment. She looked frustrated and was gesturing to the field and talking to what appeared to be her parents. As they left, she turned and smiled at me as she waved. I returned the wave and watched them walk away from the field and across the path to the RebelDiner.
Suddenly I was hungryagain.
I had been in the Rebel Diner one other time after a game. They had great food and students got a discount before and after baseball games. I casually made my way to the Rebel Diner and found the girl sitting at the counter with herparents.
The hostess seated me at a small booth that was big enough for two. Luckily, I could see the girl and heard some of what they talked about during dinner; baseball. This girl was after myheart.
“See ya tomorrow, Annie,” the girl said as she stood with her parents toleave.
“Bye, Nikki. Oh, what time do you work tomorrow?” Annie asked and joined thegroup.
I had just learned two very important things as I finished my bacon cheeseburger. One, her name was Nikki. Two, she worked at the Rebel Diner. I would be frequenting the Rebel Diner much moreoften.
* * *
“Why didn’tyou just ask her out?” Sadie asked me as we settled at her kitchen table with our notebooks tostudy.
I met Sadie during my first summer class at UNLV. She was also a film major so we would be having a lot of classes together. She was super sweet, and we’d become the best of friends. She had one of those kinky, alternative relationships with a guy much older than she was. I kept forgetting the name of it exactly. I teased her a lot about it and some of the terminology, and thankfully she never took my jokes seriously. To be honest, some of the stuff that I’d googled about those kinky relationships kind of turned meon.
“Fuck that, she was with her parents,remember?”
“Don’t be scared to talk to a girl,Ryan.”
“I’m notscared.”
Sadie lifted her eyebrows and said “okay” in a tone that sounded like she didn’t believeme.
“I’mnotscared. I’m just careful, isall.”
“Ryan, every woman you meet isn’t going to be like Tiffany. If you don’t take a chance,” I broke in and finished hersentence.
“Then there’s no way I can get burnedagain.”
Fuck, I said that out loud.I remembered that night so clearly. It was the day of my dad’s funeral, and too much of my past stared me down at the grave site. I was clinging to life and needed my friend. I didn’t need a girlfriend, but a friend. She wanted no part of me and made that perfectly clear that day. Ever since that night, I had been determined not to get close topeople.
But Sadie. She knew my story about Tiffany. Sadie even knew that I had a dad that went to prison for abusing his kids. I felt at ease with Sadie since the first day I met her. When I first told her about my dad, I told her that he hurt my brother, but not me. She hadn’t said anything about not believing me, but I just felt like she knew. So, eventually, I told her that I might have caught the wrath of my dad too. I remembered being so nervous about it, and when I told her, she wrapped her hand on top of my balled-up fists and said, “Iknow.”
