I almost choked on my salmon at $200,000 a year. My father owned an accounting firm, a real estate firm, and three coffee shops. It would actually make sense for me to work at my father’s accounting firm. There was a fine line between standing on business and just being flat out stupid. As long as I wasn’t doing anything that could get me sent to prison, working for my father and making $200,000 a year was a no brainer.
“I want to buy my own house. That’s just something I want to do for myself, but we can talk about me working at the accounting firm. Do you even have any available positions that I can fill?”
My father scoffed at my comment. “I can always find a position for you to fill. You’re my daughter. The moment you step foot inside of the building and claim your office, everyone that’s employed there will be answering to you.”
“I need to put in notice at the bank, so it’ll be at least two weeks,” I stated slowly. I was lowkey excited but also kind of nervous. No, I didn’t want to work exceptionally hard if I didn’t have to. I wanted to be in charge of my own schedule and have more time to spend with Kiwi, but I didn’t want some made up position that wouldn’t require me to have any actual work to do. Some may have felt I was weird for that, but that’s just what it was. I wanted to earn the $200,000 a year and not just sit in an office twiddling my thumbs while my father ran a fake business that washed his drug money.
“Perfect,” he beamed. “I’ll let everyone know tomorrow.”
Seeing how happy my father was warmed my heart. He wasn’t a completely terrible person, and I knew my approval meant the world to him. The way he was with Kiwi was the way that he and I were supposed to be, but how could I look at him the way she did in all her innocence when I knew the horrendous things he’d done? I tried many times to just ignore it and get past it, but it was hard.
Kiwi was still with my grandmother and would be coming home in two days. She was excited to know that we’d be staying with my parents for a while. After dinner, I helped my mother clean the kitchen.
“It means a lot to your father when you let him do things for you.”
Pushing out a small sigh, I placed bowls in the cabinet. “You guys act like I’m on him day and night about his life. Dad is an adult, and he can do what he wants. I’m just selective about taking money from him. I never said he was a bad father. I love him, and I appreciate how he protects the people that he loves.”
“I know. It drives your father mad, but I’m proud to have such a strong-willed daughter. There were plenty of times in my life that I felt weak. Things I wanted to say that I simply swallowed in an effort to keep the peace. I’m glad you’re not that way.”
That comment got a genuine smile out of me because sometimes, I felt that people viewed me as problematic. Just because my father was an excellent provider didn’t mean that his lifestyle didn’t come with trauma. I still saw Lonzo’s headless body almost every time I closed my eyes. Not being able to fall asleep some nights because I was afraid people would break in the house and kill me and my parents.
At the bank, I had my own office and didn’t have to mingle with my co-workers too much. There were a handful that were cool, but there were numerous times I had to bite my tongue to keep from cursing out a condescending, know it all, Karen. I wouldn’t be sad to put in my notice. Especially knowing that my salary was going to increase by more than $150,000. I made the decision as I showered to get a two-bedroom apartment in a nice area. Pay off my debt and save for another year and then buy a house. I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to buy my own house.
As I snuggled underneath the covers in my old bedroom for some reason, Uno’s face popped into my head. That was one sexy ass man. My father had all kinds of men working for him but after Lonzo did what he did, I never looked at any of them twice. Uno was the exception to the rule, however. He stood six feet even with skin the color of butterscotch, curly, jet-black hair, with a thick full beard. Light skinned men weren’t even really my thing but Uno, he could get it.
It had been thirteen long months since I’d been with a man. James was the last. I thought he’d be safe to date because he was six years older than me. At thirty-three, I hoped he was mature. There was no way I’d have an issue with how my father made his money just to go and date a drug dealer. James worked for Brink’s. He drove the armor trucks and picked up as well as delivered money to and from ATM machines. He didn’t have any children and seemed like a pretty good catch.
Until we had one too many in depth conversations. James was old school. He felt the man should provide, and the woman should hold down the house. The man looked me in the face and told me that my working two jobs wouldn’t be acceptable if I was his woman. I explained to him that I damn sure didn’t work two jobs by choice and if I had a good man that was willing to provide, then I’d cut that down to one job in a heartbeat. To which he replied that his woman wasn’t going to work at all.
When I expressed that as a woman I’d like to have my own money, he replied with he’d give me whatever it was that he felt I needed. That was pretty much the moment I knew that continuing to date him would be a waste of time. He wasn’t even saying that he’d pay all the bills and spoil his woman. If I came to him for money to get my nails done, and he didn’t feel I needed them done, he wouldn’t give me the money. I wasn’t sure what kind of dick he was smoking to think that was okay, but after three months of dating him, I decided to stop wasting my timeand his. I had sex with him after our fourth date, and we only had sex three times before I cut things off.
The sex was okay. I didn’t have a whole lot to compare it to. Thank God, I wasn’t a virgin when Lonzo violated me because that would have been an awful way to lose my virginity. I didn’t even remember the sex at all. My first sexual partner was a guy I went to school with. It was pretty decent. Lonzo was the second. A guy named Rico was the third, and James was the fourth. With my nonexistent dating life, it didn’t appear that I’d be having sex anytime soon. Of course, I wanted a husband. I wanted Kiwi to grow up in a two-parent home and have an amazing life. I even wanted more kids, but good men weren’t just falling out of the sky. In fact, meeting a good man that didn’t have the personality of a roach was becoming harder and harder.
I’d never even been a fan of sneaky links. Meaningless sex wasn’t really my thing. But I was human and had needs. Going insanely long stretches of time with no sex was becoming a little annoying. So, if I didn’t plan on being serious with a man did it really matter what his profession was? As soon as I figured out an answer to that question, I’d know whether or not spreading my legs for Uno was an option.
Three days later, I was with my cousin, Shereeka. Her mother was my father’s sister, and Shereeka was nothing like me. Her and her mother had been taking money from my father since he started making it. Shereeka was two years younger than me and when she graduated from high school, my father was toying with the idea of starting his own real estate firm. Shereeka did a year and a half of college only to decide it wasn’t for her. She ended up getting her broker’s license and running my father’sfirm. He tossed a lot of his wealthy associates in her lap, and she entered the game swinging. Her first three months working for my father, she made $100,000 in commissions.
Not only that, she started dating one of his associates that came to her when he wanted to buy an investment property, and they got married a few months back. Shereeka sat beside me at the bar with a huge rock on her finger, a Birkin bag in her lap, and expensive perfume permeating the air around us.
“This might be my last outing ordering cute drinks and smoking hookah,” she sighed. Shereeka had the prettiest coca-colored skin, and her face was beat to the gods. She never stepped foot out of her house looking anything less than stunning.
“You’re pregnant?” I asked with wide eyes.
“I ovulate next week, and we’re going to officially start trying. Hopefully, it won’t take too long. I don’t want to be pregnant next summer. The commission has been rolling in like crazy, and I really want us to spend all next summer traveling. Like straight country hopping.”
“You gonna want to do that with a newborn?”
“Yes, because we’re going to have my mother and a nanny with us. But, David is about to be watching my every move. What I eat, what I drink. I already know he’s going to get on my nerves.”
I sipped my drink. “I’m happy for you two. I’m wishing all the baby dust upon you. Maybe I’ll meet someone and have another child before Kiwi graduates from high school,” I rolled my eyes.
“I found a man when I wasn’t looking but, a man isn’t going to just fall in your lap. I’m surprised you even agreed to come out with me. All you do is work and sit in the house.”
“Yeah, because I have a child. I already feel guilty when I’m away from her braiding hair. I don’t want to spend what free time I do have out in the streets looking for a man.”
“That sounds nice but even when Kiwi is with your parents or other family trying to get you out of the house is like pulling teeth. I don’t doubt that dating with a child isn’t easy, but I think you make it harder than it has to be.”
If I would have told her she wouldn’t understand because she didn’t have kids, it would have come off as rude, so I chose not to say anything. Instead, I finished my drink and waved the bartender over for another. The good thing about being at home with my parents for a little while was that once Kiwi was asleep for the night, I could leave out. She’d never even know that I was gone. She had her own bedroom at my parents’ house. Kiwi loved being there, and I knew she would feel a way once I got approved for a place.
