“In his defense, he kept me away from things as much as possible. But the older I got, it was super easy to put two and twotogether. I’d notice how he’d be stressed and acting on edge if someone close to him got arrested. No lie, when I was in middle school there was a period of time that he went to at least one funeral a week for two months. That shit had me terrified as a kid constantly worrying if he would be arrested or killed. The money is nice, but the drug dealer life is far from glamorous.”
“He told my mom he’s walking away from the game. Is that enough to make you forgive him and to try and be closer to him?”
“I don’t know, Shereeka. He had someone to break into my house. That was foul as hell and borderline psychotic. I just don’t like how he went about it. My father is the type that will go to crazy lengths to get what he wants.”
“And you aren’t wrong for feeling that way.”
“And a brother, Reeka? I have a whole brother. It almost seems like my father doesn’t tell the truth about shit.”
“I know Aunt Connie is livid.”
“Livid isn’t the word, baby. She’s caught my father cheating in the past. I’m not for sure how many times, but there are at least two that I can remember. A baby though? That takes it up a notch.”
“I went by to see him yesterday. He’s definitely feeling it. I can tell he’s hurt, and he’s sorry.”
That prompted me to snort. “He needs to be hurt, and he needs to be sorry.”
“What about, Uno? Have you heard from him?”
“Nope.” I drained the rest of the wine from my glass. “And I don’t want to.”
“Apricot.”
“I don’t want to hear it.” I turned to look at my cousin. “Why should I have to keep giving grown ass people that know what they’re doing passes?”
“I’m not saying that you have to give anyone passes. Your feelings are valid, and you have the right to feel how you feel. Buttttttt, I will say as far as Uno goes, he only did what Uncle Devin asked him to. You and Kiwi weren’t at home, and your father replaced every item that was taken. I say you at least give him a second chance. He saved you from those Africans in the club.”
I stared straight ahead with an intense glower on my face. I didn’t want to forgive Uno. I also refused to admit to her that I missed him, and I thought about him often. Even if I was to forgive him for breaking into my house, he did the same shit my father did. I was done with it all. If I continued not to see him or talk to him eventually, I’d get over Uno. It wasn’t anything deeper than a fling anyway.
“You are so stubborn, it’s ridiculous,” Shereeka giggled. “I just saw how he ran up on you to get you out of that club. I don’t care what anyone says. That was about more than him looking out for you on the strength of your father. There’s no doubt in my mind, he would have shot it out with them outside that club. That’s sexy as fuck to me.”
“That’s because you have a weird obsession with bad boys. Yet, you married someone the complete opposite of that.”
“Baby dope boys are good for fucking on and having fun with. I damn sure wasn’t about to marry one. Aunt Connie lives in the lap of luxury thanks to Uncle Devin, but like you always say, look what comes with that life. Nine to five men cheat too, but when a man is rich and powerful, that takes it to another level.”
“Bingo. You just admitted that dope boys aren’t to be taken seriously, so why do I need to forgive Uno?”
“Ummm to get some dick. Nobody said you had to marry him. You’re going to do what you want to do anyway, so I’m done wasting my breath. Pass me those chips.”
I enjoyed Shereeka’s short visit so much that when her and Kiwi left, I was sad. Curling up in bed, I willed myself not to cry. Life was a shit show. Shereeka’s words played over and over in my head on a loop. For a second, I almost picked up my phone and called him. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I embarrassed myself quite enough when it came to Uno. Instead of calling, I closed my eyes and tried to force sleep to come.
Sleep didn’t come right away. My thoughts drifted from Uno to Kiwi and how I was going to handle her. I wasn’t used to being at odds with my baby. I wished someone would give me the cheat code to life with all of the correct answers on it because I was failing like a muhfucka.
The next day I went sightseeing alone. I tried to picture myself living in Stone Ridge, but if I moved, Kiwi would test my patience every day. Thinking about her prompted me to call my mom. “Hey, how is Kiwi doing?”
“She’s fine. She talked to her grandfather on Facetime, and she’s been smiling from ear to ear since.”
“That’s good,” I mumbled. “Kiwi is innocent in all of this. She was already traumatized from the shooting. I don’t want to add to it by making her feel like I’m taking away the people she loves. I can’t tell her the truth and when I lie, it makes me look like the bad guy.”
“Kiwi will be fine. Her grandfather has her spoiled, but you are her mother and what you say goes. She just needs some time to adjust. I’m going to take a page from your book and get away for a while. I think I want to go to Paris for about a month. Just enjoy the scenery, eat some good food, go shopping, and just relax.”
“Paris sounds like a good idea. I think you should go for it.”
“You figured out what you gonna do about the job yet?”
“I think I’m going to have to keep working there. I’ll do most of my work from home. I need the paychecks, and I’m not going to find another job paying that much. Now is not the time to be too stubborn especially since I moved into that expensive apartment.”
“Anytime you need money let me know. I’m trying to drain that bastard’s bank accounts that I have access to. He’s a fuck nigga to the core, and if I don’t walk away with anything else, I’m going to walk away with enough to be okay for the rest of my days. If I take him to court, I’m sure I can get the house, but I don’t want it.”
