“You’ve broughtme my favorite dessert?” I ask, sitting up from the mountain of pillows and blankets that’s become a fortress to hide away in. The room’s dark except for the light pouring in by way of the open door, much of it obscured by Caelian’s broad, hulking size.
My bleary and swollen eyes make it difficult to see. I rub a hand to the tears blurring my vision, fully expecting him to disappear. For it to be revealed I’m seeing things and he isn’t really there. He’s simply a silhouette of the armoire or a figment of my imagination.
The tears dry and my vision clears.
Caelian is real. He’s moved even closer from where he hovered in the doorway to the foot of the bed. He keeps going, coming up the side, twisting on the lamp on the bedside table. The slice of chocolate cake sits on a dessert plate that looks three times as small carried in a hand as large as his. Almost comically so.
He sets the tiny plate down and then takes a moment to peer down at me. His dark gray eyes scan every inch of my face, every part of the rest of me as if he’s making mental notes. He’s taking inventory of me, checking the condition I’m in.
Not to judge. Not even to scold.
At least, not me.
But if everything he requested has been accomplished. If Dr. Tulio provided adequate enough medical care and if Ms. Poitier cleaned me up properly. If I’ve sustained too many bruises and scrapes from today’s incident…
I’m not sure what would happen then. All the men who shot at us are dead except for one.
At least he was alive when we returned to Caelian’s estate.
Just when I’m questioning if Caelian’s shown up to drop off the dessert, assess how I’m doing, and then leave, he speaks.
“Are you in pain?”
I shake my head. “Dr. Tulio gave me pain meds.”
“But you were hurt? You were in pain?”
This time, I nod. His attention solely on me, mine solely on him, I don’t miss the flicker of silent frustration in his gaze. He reaches for me, his wide palm easily covering the curve of my cheek. Warmth spreads through me, making my heart flutter.
It’s the most intimate touch he’s given me since… since before I ran away.
So long that I’ve forgotten what it feels like.
I don’t know whether to lean into it, give into the sensations rolling over me, or be wary of the sudden affection.
Caelian’s made no effort to hide his newfound disdain for me; his sense of betrayal and bitterness for what I’ve done.
These contradictory thoughts come to a head, further breaking me down. A fresh dose of tears gloss my eyes, and I blink in hopes I’ll ward them off.
“You were in pain,” he says definitively. The lump in his thick throat bobs. “Did Tulio check that you’re… not…”
“Pregnant? No, Caelian, rest assured. Your baby making machine is just fine!” I jerk my head to the right, pulling out of his hold, and I put distance between us. I scoot halfway across the bed where even he can’t reach me with his long arm span. “Please just leave me alone. I already know you hate me… you only care about the baby you want to put into me. Our marriage won’t ever be full of love. I get it. But don’t touch me and ask me how I am like you care!”
My tone’s reprimanding, my volume loud enough to be heard from the hall outside. Another punishment could easily be doled out, yet I find myself defiant in the face of it.
I’ve had my fill of being pushed away and treated like I don’t matter. I can’t help that my heart still yearns for Caelian’s love, but I won’t be gaslit any longer. If he’s truly angry with me, if he really hates me, then I’d prefer he’d at least spare me and stay away.
Caelian’s equally taken aback at my boldness. He lets me scold him ’til I’m drawing short on breath, patient in how he observes me.
“Take the cake!” I go on, feeling a rush of my own anger. His silence and long stare bring it on. “Just take it and leave me alone!”
“You push me away,” he says finally. “I was coming to check on you.”
“You’re really confused why? You come bring me cake after pretending I don’t exist for weeks—after earlier when I needed you—and you don’t understand why I’m saying you should go?”
His nostrils flare as though he’s about to interrupt, but then his jaw clenches as he holds back. He decides once again to let me finish.
“You haven’t been there, Caelian. You’ve been too busy being angry with me, not giving me a chance to explain myself, punishing me for something I did to…” I break off due to the ache in my throat. “Forget about it. Just… leave.”
