Most of them had learned to steer clear of me. I didn’t enjoy lashing out at them, or being bitter, but it was unavoidable. They could smile, wiggle or even grind if they were bold enough, but in the end…
It wasn’t fucking her.
She haunted me. The peace I felt with her that week felt like the most significant thing I’d ever lost… and that was a fucked-up way to feel, especially, someone who lost both parents before they were finished with middle school.
I listened to Makaveli and the mechanic from Glen Carbon going back and forth until it felt like every syllable was bouncing off my last goddamn nerve.
“Listen, though. Listen… It’s not for me. I know I fronted that half-pound off you last week, Mak. I know! And… and I’m going to pay for it. This one is for my brother.” He held the money out in a silent demand toward Makaveli.
“No, Rocky. You were supposed to fuckin’ pay for the shit last Wednesday. I’m not stupid. This isn’t for your brother. It’s yours. You don’t have what you owe, and you know I ain’t gonna give you no more until that debt is square. That’s why you’re saying it is for your brother. Hoping to get another line of credit. Do I look like some dumbass that started doing this shit yesterday?”
“No! No, it’s not true, Mak. I told you, man. On the third, right? When my ol’ lady gets her disability check, I’m gonna pay you. I swear it, Mak. This is different. This is for Rodney, my brother.”
“I don’t give a fuck if it’s for the Devil. Tell that motherfucker to blow me, until you’re paid square ain’t nobody getting shit. Now, give me that, so I can see how much to knock off your tab.” Mak tried to grab for the money, but Rocky suddenly jerked his arm away and clutched the cash behind his back.
“Fuck me,” I scoffed, pulling the forty-five out of my waistband.
Mak rocked his jaw and the guy stumbled, lost his balance and awkwardly recovered with one hand out in a plea.
“Wait, Mak,” Mak didn’t wait, he snatched the cash out of the man’s hands.
The guy swung his gaze to me and yelled, “Wait!”
But I was out of patience, too. I hugged the trigger and Mak jerked away from both of us. His eyes wide and shining with disbelief.
“What the fuck did you do that for?”
I squinted at him and put the gun away, “I’m tired of listening to his bullshit every month.”
I shrugged.
Mak’s jaw dropped and he trotted after me as I moved toward the bikes.
“Wh–? That was a paying customer.”
“Was. Once upon a time. He stopped paying on time months ago, and I’m tired of hearing his excuses. Every month it’s the same shit. Wait, wait, my ol’ lady. Guess what…” I hefted my shoulders again, “This is the last disability check she’ll have to waste on his sorry ass. Rodney, apparently, has enough cash to look out for his sister-in-law, and pay for the fucking funeral. What are you worried about?”
“Ant–” I fired up the bike before he could finish my name.
It took him a mile or two to catch up with me. He kept checking on me while we rode, I could feel his eyes boring into me when I pulled ahead at times, but he didn’t try to talk about it anymore. When we got back to the clubhouse, he still didn’t say anything.I went to the room in the back that I’d been staying in, and shut the door behind me.
I turned the music on and flopped down in my thinking chair. That’s what the guys called it, because I was usually sitting there staring off with my thoughts when they found me.
It had been a year since I saw her last. And yet, I could still smell her perfume if I closed my eyes. I could feel her tiny hands shaking in mine and see her sprawled signature on that marriage license.
Twenty-four hours and she would have been my wife... Why the fuck hadn’t I stayed with her and married her? Why hadn’t I taken her number?
Why did she run from me?
I’d searched every strip club between here and the Pink Cabaret. When that didn’t prove worthwhile, I opened Steel Cages.
Business was profitable, but I didn’t give a damn about the income. There was only one reason those lights were glowing again.
It was all for her.
Like some sucker, I’d thrown myself into building up the strip club just so I could sit in the back office and stare at the security cameras. Every petite blonde that entered got my hopes up… but none were ever her.
“Fuck, you ever wear them things out?” Easy scoffed, drawing me out of my thoughts.
