His immediate thought was to throw away the spray cheese.
And no more ice cream in his coffee.
It was silly to fret, because of course he’d put on weight when he wasn’t keeping up his old rigorous exercise routine combined with hours of dance every day. His eating habits didn’t help, butat his age, he was never going to be his old pants size again with ease.
Unlike Finn, who was in his prime and absolutely flawless.
No, Teddy was not going to ruin this with low self-esteem when he’d been given a second chance. He might not know what he wanted to do with his life, but if his free time was monopolized by Finn Archer for the foreseeable future, that was enough for now.
He changed his sweats to something less formfitting, just in time for his phone to buzz with a text from Erina. He assumed it would be a teasing “good luck” since he’d told her about the date.
I wasn’t going to ask, but the show is going so well. Will you come see it this weekend?
Teddy’s stomach sank. She used to hate when he went to see her perform. She’d spent most of her career in neighboring cities to keep away from him and any snarky critiques he might offer, but now she was asking for him to be there. She either worried she wasn’t doing as well as she thought, felt truly proud of what she’d accomplished, or both.
But how could Teddy go back when it had been so short a time since his “retirement”? Before casting, whenDon Quixotewas still just a planned part of the Spring Season, he was slated to do the choreography, but when his hip started bothering him, he passed it to Hartley.
Erina had joked initially that maybe she’d finally come home for a show if he was taking a break. It hadn’t stayed just a break, though.
I’m not trying to be mean, Teddy. I really want you to see it, she added when he stood there staring for a solid minute without replying.
Teddy texted back:
I’d love to,but I may need a doctor’s note for a plane ride with how my hip’s been behaving. Let me get back to you.
A lie, which he knew was despicable, but he needed time to think this over. His hip had been feeling better with careful attention to his stretches and medications. His stitched-up thumb ached more than his hip most days. His hip wasn’t exactly improving, though, more just maintenance. If he was careful and diligent, it didn’t hurt, but that didn’t make it easier to do the things he used to do. Even a few months or years from now wouldn’t change that he’d never….
He was doing it again, right before getting in the car to see Finn. He had to stop. When everything else was finally going his way, why did he have to dwell on things he couldn’t change?
A dull ache settled in his stomach where his nerves had been as he left the house and headed for the health center. Forcing a smile, he told himself to relax, enjoy the moment, remember that today, he got to bring Finn home with him.
Then he got another text. FromHartley. It was like he’d known Erina had just invited him to the show. Maybe he had. Maybe he’d read it over her shoulder like a rat.
Performances are going even better than rehearsals. They’re saying it’s the best show in years! I always forget how talented your sister is.
As if to say Teddy wasn’t. He had half a mind to block Hartley’s number, but that would only let him win.
It wasn’t that Hartley hated or disrespected Teddy; it was just the way things were in the theater and dance world in the city,something Rick always complained about, but such was the price they paid for good culture—snooty one-upmanship abounded.
Teddy hated that he still missed it, even though he didn’t think it was possible to have the thrill he loved from that lifeandthe relaxed sense of peace he felt living near the beach. He certainly couldn’t have it with his hip in its current state.
“Everything okay?” Finn asked once they were headed into the back. “You’re not having second thoughts about tonight, are you?”
“Not even a little, it’s….” Teddy sighed. No point in lying. “Erina.”
“Did something happen?”
“She invited me to seeDon Quixotethis weekend.”
“Fun!” Finn spun about with his more common grin as they entered the exam room, and Teddy took up his spot on the table with another sigh. “Not fun?”
“Difficult. More than it should be, going back for the first time as a spectator. I knew I would at some point, just not so soon.”
The sympathetic smile that had gotten under Teddy’s skin a few times before reminded him now how much Finn cared. “At risk of sounding like a hypocrite again, you are allowed to not be okay. Especially this early in the healing process. Did you want a note to get out of going?” he said with a small smile, reading Teddy’s mind, but he couldn’t do that to Erina.
“I’d be a coward and a terrible brother if I accepted that offer, tempted as I am. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. Like I said, you’re allowed.”
