He expected Finn to laugh, but instead, he stared at the counter. “I am so sorry, especially for dumping all that on you last night.”
“Think nothing of it. Made us even.”
“Not even close,” Finn snapped, clearly angry at himself and refusing to look at Teddy.
“Honestly, it was refreshing.” Something Teddy had realized that morning when the continued presence of Finn on his sofa hadn’t been annoying but welcome. He’d never experienced that with someone who spent the night before. “I don’t mind learning more about each other. Telling you of my past, finding out about yours. Your parents. Your pain. Even your ex.”
That cracked a smile, however feeble. “Oliver. He’s a good guy. A great guy. We still talk, and I hope we’ll always be friends, but he was not the love of my life.”
Yesterday, that would have been all Teddy needed to hear. Today, he felt like he was worse off somehow than with all his speculations about Finn being the village serial killer. The brokenness he hadn’t fully understood until last night was plain and worsening on Finn’s face now.
“Maybe you just have terrible taste in men.” Teddy tried to lighten the mood.
Another subtle smile flickered but didn’t last long. “I’m getting better at it, just not sure I’m much of a catch in return.” Witha final longing glance at Teddy, Finn pushed off the stool, not wobbling this time, though his brow knit with pain.
“Where are you—?”
“I need to take care of my pounding head and cancel my appointments.”
“You didn’t do that ahead of time?” Teddy leaned across the counter to hold Finn there for just a little longer.
Finn’s eyes were the most beautiful shade of teal, but they were anguished. Teddy couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen that until now, but maybe Finn was just that good at hiding it. “I canceled the morning ones. I thought I’d be okay by my afternoon sessions. Now I’m not so sure.”
“Rain check on our date, then?”
“Oh shit.” Finn cringed, struggling for how to reply. “I….”
“Another time,” Teddy assured him.
“Yeah.” But the way Finn said that made Teddy think he didn’t mean it.
“Finn, it really is fine. We all have bad days.”
Finn smiled, tight and false, like he was merely appeasing Teddy by not arguing.
There was a moment with Finn still standing close when his eyes fell to Teddy’s lips, and Teddy thought, horrible morning breath or not, if Finn tried to kiss him, he’d let him.
But not this time. Finn pulled away, and Teddy didn’t know how to give chase.
“Bye, Teddy. Thanks for everything.”
Something new had broken, far worse than Teddy snapping the other day.Finn—Finn was broken and didn’t want to drag Teddy into his mess of shards, even though Teddy was nothing but pieces too.
He should say something, anything to keep Finn from leaving like this, but all he got out was “Bye, Finn,” before the door closed behind him and Nora.
Teddy slumped onto the sofa that should have smelled like booze and sweat but only smelled like the beach, just as Smudge hopped onto the coffee table with a judging flick of his tail, as if to say,what an idiot you are for not kissing Finn yourself.
“Shut up. I know.”
five
Teddywassorelytemptedto skip his exercises if he wasn’t going to see Finn for physical therapy, but he knew he was being silly and would only hurt himself in the end. He still felt empty, a dull ache in the pit of his stomach lingering all day, knowing things were off between him and Finn but unsure how to fix it.
When he hadn’t heard anything by later in the day on Thursday, he texted him.
Don’t forget our date. You owe me that rain check.
Finn’s response came almost immediately.
