Rick had suggested community theater, but Teddy wasn’t that desperate.
A few fresh texts from Hartley didn’t help either, especially the most recent:
Just thought you’d like to know that rehearsals are going beautifully. No one’s even thinking of missing you.
Dick. He knew exactly what sort of backhanded compliment that was. It wasn’t even a backhanded compliment, just a slap in the face.
More pressing was that by Friday’s appointment, having been on a consistent routine with his exercises, Teddy was sore. He never used to get sore so easily, or as tired, and the frustration with that caused his temper to turn snappish and cold—like he’d been accused of being by every student he’d ever taught.
“You okay, Teddy? Your form’s a little off today,” Finn said.
“It’s nothing. Just tired.”
“Tired or in pain?” Finn pressed.
They were doing sets of standing knee raises, and Teddy was having a hard time staying balanced on one leg with how much it hurt. He’d been taking his pain meds, but he’d always been the sort to burn through medication quickly, and he didn’t wantto overmedicate. He’d rather be in agony than not have his wits about him.
“Teddy?” Finn pressed again.
Finn came up behind him while he faced the mirror. When Finn’s hands came to rest on his hips, Teddy flinched—not because it hurt, though it did, but because he couldn’t bear for someone to be that close, watching him, when he felt ready to explode, out of control,weak.
“Teddy—”
“It’s nothing. Let’s keep going.”
“I think we better stop for today. Sore can be good, but pain from pushing too hard can set you back just as much as inaction. It’s about balance and finding what works for you and your recovery. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. Everyone’s different—”
“Can you drop the preachy bullshit, please,” Teddy snapped. “I’m not a fucking child.”
Finn’s eyes shot to Teddy’s in the mirror, startled and hurt, but the expression was gone a moment later, replaced by an appeasing smile. “We’re done for today,” he said and pulled back to give Teddy space.
Teddy hadn’t even made it through their first full week and already he was showing Finn his true, ugly self. At least that made it easier to give up on the idea of pursuing him.
“If it really hurts you, take out a set, go slower, wait longer in between exercises, but if that doesn’t help, we need to keep an eye on increased pain that might mean more than tired muscles.”
“I know,” Teddy said. It wasn’t as if he wanted an infection, but pushing himself was part of his DNA; he didn’t know how not to or how to not be an increasingly worse asshole to the people in his life. That’s why so few of them stayed.
The one thing he’d never wanted to be was like his father, but he’d still ended up that way.
“I’ll ease up. We can be done.” He should apologize, but he couldn’t bring himself to look Finn in the eyes.
“And to think you started out ignoring your exercises,” Finn joked, though it felt stiffer now, forced. “Balance, okay? No need to touch base in the exam room today. Let me know the moment the pain gets worse, if it does, but you can go, and I’ll see you next week.”
Dismissal. Patient dismissal and professional, but dismissal all the same.
Teddy was even angrier when he got home because he could tell he’d broken something important between him and Finn, but he didn’t know how to fix it. Maybe if he’d apologized instead of being a jerk.
His hip still ached after the drive home. Even walking was a chore. That made his pulse ratchet and his fists clench, and he wasn’t thinking as he stormed into the house, moving like he used to, at a rush, with careless strides as though he’d never had surgery.
But his hip didn’t like that one bit, and before he could think better of his actions, it seized and he stumbled, cursing all the way down until he landed hard, barely catching himself with his hands.
He’dfallen. What the hell was wrong with him?
Rolling onto his back with a huff, he tried to calm down. Had he torn something? Did he just make things worse? If he needed to head to the hospital….
But no, once he relaxed, nothing hurt more than before, other than his wrists from catching his fall. He’d managed to land without causing more damage, but that didn’t ease his future bruises—or the ones to his ego.
Once he was ready, and moving much more cautiously, he used what Finn had taught him to roll up slowly, get to his knees, and stand.
