I roll my eyes and poke him in his tickle spot, making him jolt. “Look at you, being all sensible and logical.” I harrumph. “Nope, I’m convinced time is fucking with me, and I don’t like it.”
Kai chuckles at that. “Whatever you say, my dear.”
I give him my best puppy-dog look. “Is it wrong that I don’t want our honeymoon to ever end?”
He fixes me with a heated gaze and pulls me close. “Between us, the honeymoon won’t ever end. This is just the beginning of more blissful days ahead with each other.”
That makes me smile. “Such a smooth talker. It’s one of the many things I love about you.”
Nirblob comes rolling up to our outdoor patio table where we’ve just finished breakfast. I smile at him from where I decided to plonk my juicy little ass in Kai’s lap earlier—because I can and because I know he loves it.
“Ah, it’s inspiring to watch you two loveworms,” Nirblob says cheerily.
I blink a few times. “Uh… Do you mean lovebirds?”
“Aha! Forgive my slip of the tongue. I’m still learning human idioms.” He thrusts his fabric-filled hand at us. “These are for you, in honor of your first Tentacular Tales Con.”
I wriggle with excitement in Kai’s lap. “Look, babe! Our very own Tentacular Tales Con 2 T-shirts.” I hug mine to my chest. “I’m going to cherish it forever.”
Nirblob looks quite pleased with himself. What a stand-up friend. He knows how much I’ve wanted one of these.
“In fact,” I announce, hopping off Kai’s lap and tearing off my shirt, “I’m going to wear it right now.”
I shimmy into it and do a little twirl. “How does it look?”
Nirblob gives me two thumbs up.
Kai smiles fondly. “You look as gorgeous as ever.”
“Thank you, boo.” I lean down and give him a kiss on the cheek.
Nirblob clears his throat. “Far be it from me to disturb your precious romantic time together, but on behalf of all the convention organizers, I have come to ask if you will give a few closing remarks to our guests.”
I stare at him. “Really?”
He nods. “We believe it most fitting and appropriate for you to help us send off our enthusiastic attendees in style.”
I give him my biggest, brightest smile. “As if I could say no to that. Come,” I say with all the theatricality I possess. “My adoring fans await!”
Kai laughs and, arm in arm, we follow Nirblob back to the main ballroom one last time.
The decorations from last night’s costume ball have been taken down and the room has been returned to its more generic appearance. Convention goers mill about, eagerly waiting for the closing remarks. I give Kai another quick kiss and then skip over to the stage, where I climb up and grab the mic for the final time.
“Good morning, everyone. Our wonderful event organizers have been so kind as to ask me to say a few words before we call a close to the second annual Tentacular Tales Con.”
I’m inundated with cheers and applause.
I take a little bow. “Thank you, thank you. But really, let’s all give a hand—or whatever appendage is most appropriate—to our tireless organizers for all of their hard work and dedication. Without them, events like this wouldn’t happen.”
More clapping ensues.
I hold my hands up. “The con organizers and I hear you all, loud and clear, and thank you for your enthusiastic appreciation. Ever since I learned that my incredible fans had created a convention around my series, I knew I had to attend it someday. The stars aligned for me this time by dovetailing with my temporary off-world clearance for my honeymoon. Talk about sweet! Even better, my amazing hubby-boo planned this trip just for me so we could visit the conandspend lovey-dovey time together. Isn’t he fucking epic? Anyway, let me just say, my time here at the resort and Tentacular Tales Con has been one of the most memorable experiences of my life.” Getting a bit chokedup, I clear my throat. “I know many of you have come from far away just to be here with like-minded fans who share a love forThe Tentacular Tales of Captain Starblade. As the author, it warms my heart to be bringing people together to celebrate my tentacle porn space opera and hopefully make lifelong connections. When I began writing this series, it was a way to cope with the stagnation of my boring technical-writing day job. I needed an outlet for my quirky, geeky mind—and I honestly never thought very many people would read it, so I indulged in all my zaniest ideas and fantasies.” I chuckle. “No one was more shocked than me when I learned that even though humans had not understood my work or appreciated it very much—they’re totally missing out, by the way—loads of folks across the universe did. Ever since then, I’ve had the pleasure of receiving fan mail and advice column questions from many of you, and I freaking love it! Keep ’em coming!”
The crowd suddenly hold up, en masse, the equivalent of foam fingers used at sports games—foamtentacles. They wave them vigorously.
“We love you, River!” some folks scream, foam tentacles swirling about. That’s followed by more enthusiastic applause.
“I love all of you too,” I say. “I’m not sure if I’d still be writing this story if I hadn’t met the love of my life, my husband Kai Genaro, or received such a warm welcome from many of you. As long as ideas keep coming to me, I plan to continue writing. There are many more adventures ahead for Captain Starblade and Lord Vardox, and who knows, I may even start another series someday. For now, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love and support. Although our time here together is coming to a close, many of us may meet again one day. I want you to know this won’t be the last time I attend a Tentacular Tales Con. I don’t know when, but in the famous words of Arnold Schwarzenegger,I’ll be back!”
