My lips curve up in a smile. “Absolutely.”
River’s expression brightens. “If nothing else, maybe my stories can help us set up a college fund for our kids. Paying for three is going to be no easy feat.”
The look he’s giving me is so earnest and hopeful.
Dark matter and dammit, there’s no one who can melt both my hearts on a daily basis like River Sullivan.
My ridiculous shirt proves quite useful as I can easily let out two of my tentacles to pull River into a full embrace. “Already planning for their futures, my love?”
“Of course. It’s our parental responsibility, and no time is too soon when it comes to financial preparation.”
I chuckle and nuzzle his cheek. “I appreciate the sentiment, but if our children decide to go to an intergalactic university, they won’t need to pay anything. Education is free across most of the universe. And if they decide to study on Earth, I’m sorry tobreak it to you, but our Intergalactic Standard Currency won’t be super helpful.”
“Aw, nuts,” River grumbles.
“Don’t worry. Our kids will be well supported not only by us but also by our extended family.”
“Grandparents and uncles for the win! It’s nice to have what feels like a small army of helpers, especially since all the grandparents have longer life expectancies than my dad’s parents did.” His expression turns sad. “Benji and I lost them too soon after… everything.”
I push down the simmering anger that always bubbles to the surface when River talks about his childhood struggles after his parents faked their deaths and went into hiding. While I know that Benji wasn’t the most conventional or responsible adult parent to River in their place, I’ve grown to have immense respect and appreciation for him. Despite some of his shortcomings, he got it right where it counted most, and raised one of the bravest, boldest, and most loving people I’ve ever known. For that, he will always have my deep and profound gratitude. I’m also in complete support of River’s efforts to help my younger brother Mal—who’s head over tentacles for Benji—win the man’s heart.
I focus back on River and clear my throat. “We’ll be able to rely on them more than some people can when it comes to family support. Iyarans fundamentally believe that human concept ofit takes a village to raise a child. Extended family members and friends who agree to be involved in the process are always eager to follow through on any commitments they make. Iyarans don’t make a half-hearted effort when it comes to children. They are increasingly rare among our people, so those who want and are able to have children cherish them deeply, as do their families.”
River pats my abdomen gently. “It’s still majorly surreal that we’re going to have kids at all, let alone triplets. But believe me, I’m already thinking and planning.”
I’ve already seen it myself. River’s taken to poring over books my mom has given him on Iyaran culture and how to raise Iyaran children. He’s planning out how we can repurpose a room in our house to be a nursery and working through gender-neutral decorating schemes with Evan’s help. We’ve also started talking about more practical day-to-day things like time off and work schedules after gestation is complete, daycare as the kids get older, and other basic routines. Even though we have a few years yet before we need to make concrete decisions about a lot of things, River’s not wasting any time.
At first, when we learned I was experiencing Tentaculum Gestarium, I worried that River might not be up for what lies ahead. It’s not that I didn’t have faith in him or his abilities. He’s much younger than me, though, and being a parent involves a lot of responsibility as well as self-sacrifice. I didn’t want him to miss out on experiences he could be having while he’s still young or give up dreams he might want to pursue that could prove difficult once we’re raising three children together. However, I should have known better. River’s been as steady as a rock from the moment he made his decision, never wavering for even a moment.
When I first confessed my fears to my mom, she sat me down and gave me one of her usual no-nonsense pep talks.
“Honey, you should know him well enough by now to realize that once River decides on something, he’s all in. There’s nothing wishy-washy about the man. He’s been that way about your relationship from the start. I have no doubt it will be the same for any kids you have together.” She took my hand, her expression serious. “Don’t ever forget, River never had what you did growing up. The way he glommed on to me and yourdad and all the little things he says and does speak to how much family means to him.”
“I know,” I whispered. “But I worry he might regret being forced into the role of parent simply because there’s no way he’d say no to my unexpected Tentaculum Gestarium.”
Mom let out a too-familiar noise of exasperation at my words. “Kai, I love you to pieces, but you can be a bit of a bonehead sometimes.”
I sputtered. “Mom!”
She flicked me lovingly on the forehead. “I’m a mother who tells it like it is, so listen to me when I say you can trust River. He’s as honest and open as they come. And he loves you with the same kind of unwavering devotion you have for him. Will parenthood be easy? Fuck no. Will there be times you fight? Of course. But will you be able to get through it together? Abso-fucking-lutely.” She leaned back in her chair, a faint hint of sadness in her expression. “River isn’t one to hold a grudge against those he loves, even when they hurt him. You know this better than anyone. You’ve seen how he welcomed his parents back into his life. There’s no way he’d ever blame or resent you for any of his life choices.”
I covered my face with my hands and groaned. “You’re right. I just love him so much I don’t want to do anything that could jeopardize what we have together.”
“That’s a perfectly rational and understandable fear. Don’t hold it inside. Talk to River. Communication is key. How many times have your dad and I told you that?”
I winced. “Opening up and being vulnerable has never been easy for me.”
Mom stared deep into my eyes. “It’s time for you to have a final emotional trust fall with River. It’ll be worth it, and I guarantee he’ll catch you.”
Then she grinned. “Hallelujah to the galactic gods or whatever force sent him to us!”
I chuckle now at the memory of that conversation. Mom loves River as if he were her own child and showers him with her unique brand of affection.
Like the good son I am, I took her advice. She was right, and I already knew that, but I needed her to remind me. I’ll have to remember that if I’m ever in her position with my own kids someday.
As a slow song in the ballroom begins playing, I bow and take hold of River’s hand, then kiss it. “May I have this dance?”
He flushes with delight. “Hell yeah.”
