Lauren goes next, her words making us all tear up. “I missyou tons, Mommy. I wish you were still here, but I know you’re always watching over us. Happy birthday.”
I rub her back, offering what little comfort I can.
Holt places his hand on the headstone. “Happy birthday, Han. You’d hate all this fuss we’re making, but we brought chocolate cake to make up for it.”
“It was Mommy’s favorite,” Leah tells me.
“And it’s my favorite too,” Lauren says.
“Shall we sing?” Holt asks.
The girls nod their heads, so Holt grabs a square cake pan from the cooler. He takes the lid off, revealing a homemade chocolate cake. “Dad has made this for Hannah every year since we got married.”
I help pass out the slices Holt puts onto paper plates, and then he puts a candle in each piece.
We sing “Happy Birthday,” and the girls grin when they get to blow out their candles. Then Holt tells the girls stories about things Hannah did when they were little. Lauren doesn’t have very many memories of her mom, and Leah doesn’t have any. The things they know are things Holt or their grandparents have told them.
It’s telling to me that they know so much about their mom despite being so young when she died. Holt has worked so hard to keep Hannah’s memory alive, and I hope that I can help him in the future.
We eat and laugh the whole afternoon. I read another chapter in our book, making sure to put on a great show. We talk about the end of the school year and everything else under the sun.
Leah has been keeping her distance from her bully, and Farrah has gone above and beyond to help ensure that the students are safe. Luckily, the other kindergarten teachers have been keeping an eye on Mason. Farrah told us they’ve indicated he’s become a problem for their students too. PrincipalGrant still hasn’t done anything about the boy, but after our meeting, I don’t expect her to.
Hearing Holt threaten her the way he did was seriously hot. I don’t want anything to happen to Leah, but it would be awesome to see him go scorched-earth on the principal.
Once we’ve finished our lunch, we pack up our picnic and get ready to leave. As Holt and the girls head to the truck, I tell them, “I’ll be right behind you.”
I lay my hand on top of Hannah’s headstone. It reads,Loving wife, mother, and daughter.Gratitude fills me for this incredible woman I never got to meet. “I hate that you aren’t here to see your girls turn into the wonderful little people they are. I wish they could grow up with you in their lives instead of me, but I promise they will never question how much they are loved. I will protect them with everything I have in every season of their lives and will always be listening for your guidance. I hope I can make you proud.”
With a final, silent thank you to the woman who made this family who they are, I head back to the truck. Holt’s waiting by the passenger side. “Everything okay?”
I nod. “Thank you for including me today. It meant more than I could ever say.”
“Thank you for being here. You have no idea how relieving it is to talk about Hannah without worrying you’ll be annoyed or something.”
“She played a huge role in your life for a very long time. Not to mention, the girls wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for her. I’d be a horrible person if I never wanted to talk about her.”
“You don’t feel threatened or anything like that?”
“Threatened? Of course not. We’re all capable of loving each other in many ways. A part of you will always love Hannah, but that doesn’t diminish your feelings for me. Ithink knowing how much you love her has made me love you more.”
Holt’s smile turns cocky. “You love me, huh?”
“I do. Is that a problem?”
He grips my chin with his thumb and pointer finger. “Nope. Because I love you too.”
I breathe out a laugh. “Thank god.” I press up onto my toes to kiss him. It’s soft—reverent—instead of frantic. The lust is there as it always is when I kiss this man, but neither of us pushes it past the gentle presses of our lips.
“Come on, Rainbow. We’d better get these monkeys home before they turn savage.”
CHAPTER 39
Holt
“Who taught you how to hammer a nail like that?” Dad calls out. I missed the headone time, and he acts like I’ve never used a hammer before.
I scoff. “You did.”
