Oh, she is. I haven’t gone a day without Mom asking if I’ve called Gia since she left. “What should I have done? Begged a woman to stay who didn’t want to? Her whole life is across the country. Who in their right mind would stay in a town for a man they’ve only known for a month?”
“You could have given her the option, at least. You could have told her you wanted her to stay.”
“And then proceeded to have my heart smashed when she said no? Yeah, I think I’ll pass.” I’ve had enough heartbreak to last a lifetime. I stand from my chair and pace into the kitchen in the back of the office.
I grab a mug from the cabinet above the coffeemaker and pour another cup. I really shouldn’t drink this. I’m already having heart palpitations; drinking more caffeine will only make things worse.
I exhale deeply as Beverly follows me into the kitchen. She absconds with my mug. “Give me that. You’ll have a heart attack if you drink it.”
I watch her dump the liquid down the sink with a strange sort of detachment. Since Gia left last week, I’ve had several questions rolling around my head without Beverly or my mother’s prodding. Should I have said something to get her to stay? I wanted it to be her idea. What if she’d said yes because I asked and then resented me for it? The pressure to make our relationship work after that would’ve been more than I could bear.
Plus, I was too chicken to ask anyway. I’d have been devastated when she said no to my face.
And she would’ve.
There’s no way she’d have stayed, no matter what I asked her, but maybe I should have said something. I could have told her she’d always be welcome to come back whenever she wanted or even that we wished she could stay but understood that she had to go. Anything would have been better thannothing. Then I wouldn’t be stuck with the what-ifs rolling around in my head.
The girls have also been despondent this whole week, and it’s yet another thing I’m beating myself up over. How could I have let them get so attached to Gia, knowing she’d leave us? I never lied or told them Gia was going to stay longer, but it wouldn’t have mattered how many times I reminded them Gia would leave—they’d still be just as sad.
I’ve fucked everything up.
Beverly’s hand on my arm pulls me out of my spiral. “Honey, why don’t you go out to the farm and spend a little time with Huck?”
“I’ve got a mountain of work to do. I can’t just drop everything.”
“Not a single thing on your list needs to be done today.”
I run my palms down my face, mentally going over my checklist. She’s not exactly wrong. Most of the stuff I need to do can wait until tomorrow. I don’t have any court dates until next week.
“Yeah, okay. I’ll head out to the farm.”
A strong nose shoves my shoulder.
“I’m going as fast as I can, you pushy bastard,” I grumble.
Huck snorts, telling me exactly what he thinks about my insult. I’ve been fucking with his bridle for the last couple of minutes because the buckle was stuck.
I sigh and run a hand down his soft nose. “I’m sorry, buddy. I’m having a bad day, but I shouldn’t take it out on you.”
He accepts my apology, and I’m finally able to finish tacking up. We set out on our favorite trail. I don’t evenhave to direct Huck. It’s like he knows where I need to go before I’ve even made the choice.
He’s been my horse since I was a teenager. His mama died giving birth, and I was the one out here every day taking care of him. The girls learned how to ride on Huck, and he loves them as much as he loves me. Granted, they always have sugar cubes in their pockets when they come out to see him.
The wind is bitingly cold, but it’s better than sitting in my stuffy office, wallowing in my misery.
As much as I hate admitting it, Beverly was right. I needed this break from everything rolling around in my head.
A ride with Huck is a surefire way to clear my thoughts. With the crunch of snow under his hooves and my breath fogging out in front of me, there’s not much room for anything else. Even the sun decided to peek out from the clouds today.
The thick trees open up to a sparkling hideaway. The frozen pond stretches across the field on the backside of the farm. I have the sudden urge to strap on some skates and get out the hockey goals. My brothers and I used to play three-on-three when we had too much energy. None of us could play worth a damn, but it was fun regardless.
I should bring the girls out here. That might cheer them up a bit, and we haven’t ice-skated since before Christmas.
“What are you doing out here?”
Reese’s voice scares the shit out of me. Huck shuffles his feet at my sudden movement. “Jesus. Warn a guy first.”
“I’m on a horse. I don’t think I could’ve been any louder,” Reese deadpans, making me snort.
